Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 9 2017

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Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 9 2017
Published at 11/8/2017 12:54:39 AM

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Millen  Bill

1 PHI

4-1-0

^ +1: It's time. The Eagles were faced with the league's top defense, without their top lineman and with their TE on the mend, and what do they do? Dismantle them entirely. Jesus.

2 PIT

3-2-0

^ +1: *Bye week bump*

3 NEP

3-2-0

^ +1: *Another bye week bump*

4 NOS

2-2-0

^^^ +3: The Saints are on a tear, and they totally dismantled a division foe. The Superdome is getting its mystique back.

5 KCC

5-0-0

vvvv -4: The script is out: Limit Hunt, Hill and Kelce, there's no way Smith is going to figure out how to beat you.





6 SEA

3-2-0

v -1: Unlike previous seasons, the Seahawks have competition in the division. They have to be careful.

7 LA

3-2-0

^^^^ +4: I'm still in disbelief about how much more explosive this offense is from last year's iteration.

8 MIN

3-2-0

-- 0: The Vikings just keep marching through the season, quietly playing good football for seemingly no reason.

9 DAL

2-3-0

^^^^ +4: I guess I fucking learned my lesson about counting my Suspended Potential Domestic Abuser Superstar Running Backs before they hatch.

10 CAR

4-1-0

-- 0: People think just because they're not 15-1 the Panthers aren't good. Take what you've heard about this team and put it through the Everyone Is A Dick To Cam Newton filter and then you get a realistic idea.



11 BUF

3-2-0

vv -2: That loss was the kind of thing that makes you worry that this can't last... Just sayin'...

12 WAS

2-2-0

^^ +2: After so many brutal losses to good teams it has to feel good to win one despite hella injuries. Which sucks because I hate this team so much.

13 ATL

3-1-0

v -1: Can't count them out as a playoff team but something is just... Off...

14 OAK

2-3-0

^^^ +3: The Raiders are hardly world-beaters but there's not much going in the AFC.

15 JAC

3-2-0

^^^ +3: Speaking on Not Much Going, the Jaguars are probably going to the playoffs???

16 DET

3-2-0

-- 0: Detroit is the bubblest of bubble teams. With a little luck they could snatch the division from Minnesota, but it wouldn't take much to keep them out of the playoffs either.

17 TEN

2-3-0

^^^ +3: Not the most inspiring win, but a win nonetheless for Tennessee. Indy and Houston are pretty much non-factors but as of right now the Titans don't look as good as Jacksonville.

18 DEN

3-1-0

vvv -3: It's over. We have so many holes to fill and we're just halfway through the season. Elway really got us in tough spot by failing to land the right coach or the right qb.

19 SDC

1-4-0

-- 0: The Chargers were on a bye but I'm not entirely sure they're not the second-best team in their division.

20 HOU

2-3-0

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv -14: "Maybe they'll still beat teams like Indy without Watson! They have good receivers and a decent defense."

21 BAL

3-2-0

-- 0: The Ravens once again prove just enough to give a good team a scare, and not enough to steal a game.

22 GBP

4-1-0

-- 0: Packers fans are gonna be so sad when the Bears take back the series lead in a couple weeks.

23 IND

2-3-0

^^^^^^^^ +8: Luck is officially gone. Jacoby Brissett doesn't seem to mind.

24 NYJ

3-2-0

^^ +2: What the Jets did to the Bills was brutal: they just flatly refused to let Buffalo claw their way out of the cellar before the Jets can. This kind of spoiler effect is exactly what's kept the Pats in power all these years.

25 CHI

1-4-0

-- 0: Surprised the Bears didn't pull an upset over their bye week.

26 MIA

2-2-0

vvv -3: The Raiders are the kind of team Miami has to beat to stay in the race. They failed, despite showing more life on offense than they have all season.

27 ARI

2-3-0

^ +1: Solid win, but not many teams will let themselves get pulverized like that. I gotta wonder how many of these games Peterson has in him for the season, and whether he would have pulled them off with the Saints.

28 CIN

2-3-0

vvvv -4: Those 7 points by the Bengals were just a technicality. They were shut down entirely. This is the end of an era: I doubt Marvin Lewis and Andy Dalton make it out of this mess.

29 NYG

0-5-0

vv -2: The only thing worse than the Giants is the Giants without Janoris Jenkins.

30 TBB

2-2-0

v -1: The only thing worse than the Buccaneers is the Buccaneers without James Winston.

31 SFO

0-5-0

v -1: A lot of people are moving the Niners to the bottom spot, but you can't fool me. Just because the Browns didn't have a chance to show us how trash they are this week doesn't mean they're not still the worst. And I am not moving SF to the bottom spot just to have Jimmy G come in and change it all up a week from now.

32 CLE

0-5-0

-- 0: Sorry, no bye bump for Cleveland.

Older Published Rankings

8/12/2015 - Dangersquirrel NFL Rankings 2015 Start of Offseason
9/10/2015 - Dangersquirrel Rankings: Preseason
9/10/2015 - Dangersquirrel Rankings: 2015 Kickoff
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10/4/2015 - Dangersquirrel Bias Ranking 2015
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11/5/2015 - Dangersquirrel Rankings: 2015 Week 8
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12/16/2016 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Rankings: 2016 Week 14
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12/30/2016 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Rankings: 2016 Week 16
1/6/2017 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Rankings: 2016 Week 17
1/15/2017 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Rankings: 2016 Wild Card
1/16/2017 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Rankings: 2016 Divisional Round
1/23/2017 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Power Rankings: 2016 Conference Round
2/7/2017 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Power Rankings: Super Bowl LI
3/21/2017 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Rankings: End of 2016 Season
3/21/2017 - Dangersquirrel Rankings 2017: Free Agency
5/6/2017 - Dangersquirrel's NFL Power Rankings: 2017 Spring
6/24/2017 - Dangersquirrel Rankings 2017: OTAs
9/4/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL 2017 - Kickoff
9/13/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 1 2017
9/21/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 2 2017
9/28/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 3 2017
10/4/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 4 2017
10/12/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 5 2017
10/22/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 6 2017
10/24/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 7 2017
11/2/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 8 2017
11/8/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 9 2017
11/17/2017 - Dangersquirrel Ranks the NFL After Week 10 2017


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