Top Passers:

Eli Manning: 21-of-40, 254 yards.


Top Rushers:

Laurence Maroney: 25 carries, 122 yards. 1 TD.


Top Receivers:

Plaxico Burress: 11 catches, 154 yards.

Donald Driver: 5 catches, 141 yards. 1 TD.

Kevin Faulk: 8 catches, 82 yards.

Vincent Jackson: 6 catches, 93 yards.

Chris Chambers: 7 catches, 90 yards.


Top Defenders:

Nate Kaeding: 4-of-4 FGs. Long of 40.

Antonio Cromartie: 9 tackles, 1 INT.

Ellis Hobbs: 8 tackles, 1 INT.


Scrubs of the Week:

Philip Rivers: 19-of-37, 211 yards. 2 INTs.

Mike McCarthy: Ryan Grant had only 13 carries.

1. New England Patriots (18-0) - "We have one more game... to be part of... ever." Junior Seau said that on the field while holding the Lamar Hunt Trophy. I thought that was a simple grammatical error, but he repeated himself in the post-game press conference. Well, at least Emmitt understood him. And speaking of Emmitt, he loved giving his "analysts" of the Wizard of Oz, Little Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel, the Three Little Pigs and Cinderella, so he got excited at the prospect of doing something like this every week. Emmitt will now discuss Goldilocks and the Three Bears: Once upon times, there was a broad name Goldlocks. She was banged up and went to the bears crib. She eat porridge from the big daddy's bowl and then the baby momma's bowl and then the kid's bowl. Then she sleep in all three bed. Then the three bear come back to the crib and kick the broad out of the house. But when the kid and baby's momma went to do some shoppin, the dad invite the broad to his crib and get his freak on.
2. New York Giants (13-6) - The Eli Manning Priceless Pep Talk of the Week: "I'm so happy we beat the Packers no one thought we'd win but we did win and now we're going to the Super Bowl and we won 10 road games in a row and that's a record and I'm the second Manning to go to the Super Bowl and that's a record and we beat the Packers 23-20 and Brett Favre didn't win and Plaxico Burress is awesome and I'm so happy and Peyton called me and said he's happy and my dad didn't shake his head at me for the first time and my mom is gonna make me meatloaf tonight and then I'm gonna sleep over my friend's house and play video games and then we play the Patriots two weeks from now and then..." That was Eli Manning, and he hopes his Priceless Pep Talk helped you!
3. San Diego Chargers (12-6) - From my 2008 Championship Sunday Diary: " Is it just me, or does LaDainian Tomlinson look like Darth Vader with his helmet and coat on? ... Norv Turner... tsss... I am your running back... tsss... put me in the game and we can rule the AFC... tsss..."
4. Green Bay Packers (14-4) - What happened to Brett Favre? I didn't think he'd throw up punts into triple coverage until the Super Bowl. Why did he do it against the Giants? Let's do some oddities to figure out why: 40:1 - He hates me and wanted to see me lose my playoff pick of the month. 4:1 - Brett has an AARP meeting on Feb. 3 and couldn't make it. 1:8 - He didn't want to hear TV analysts go "Brett Favre Brett Favre Favre Super Bowl Brett Super Bowl Favre Brett Favre Favre Brett Super Bowl" all week.

The Rest: 5. Indianapolis Colts (13-4). 6. Jacksonville Jaguars (12-6). 7. Dallas Cowboys (13-4). 8. Seattle Seahawks (11-7). 9. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-7). 10. Tennessee Titans (10-7). 11. Washington Redskins (9-8). 12. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-8). 13. Cleveland Browns (10-6). 14. Philadelphia Eagles (8-8). 15. Minnesota Vikings (9-7). 16. Houston Texans (8-8). 17. Buffalo Bills (7-9). 18. Chicago Bears (7-9). 19. New Orleans Saints (7-9). 20. Arizona Cardinals (8-8). 21. Detroit Lions (7-9). 22. Denver Broncos (7-9). 23. Carolina Panthers (7-9). 24. Cincinnati Bengals (7-9). 25. San Francisco (5-11). 26. Oakland Raiders (4-12). 27. Atlanta Falcons (4-12). 28. New York Jets (4-12). 29. Baltimore Ravens (5-11). 30. St. Louis Rams (3-13). 31. Kansas City Chiefs (4-12). 32. Miami Dolphins (1-15).