Emmitt on the Brink - Season 9: Week 12



Emmitt on the Brink.

The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith. Three years later, the Patriots beat the Bears in the Super Bowl, 2-0. After the game, Emmitt announced his retirement.

This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter's perspective and follow Emmitt through his post-retirement days.

Of course, you can always look at all of Emmitt's quotes in the Emmitt Smith Anthology.
Emmitt Smith 2015 New England Patriots head coach.

Emmitt Smith announce his unretirement!




SACRIFICE MADE TO ESCAPE FROM MATT MILLEN


By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Thursday, Sept. 19, 2019


Emmitt, Milo Yiannopoulos, Johnny Manziel and Isaiah Crowell moved quickly as soon as Matt Millen made his announcement. The leader of the League of Failed General Managers had found them, and he surely planned on doing naughty things to them before imprisoning Emmitt and his friends once again. But how did he manage to do so?

"Guys, we need to get onboard unicorn and get out of here real quick!" Emmitt shouted.

"It's a dragon, Emmitt," Yiannopoulos said. "But you're right, let's go!"

"Hold on, guys, I'm just sending out another tweet, ugh, I hate when it keeps tweeting with your location," Manziel said.

"You idiot, that's how they found us!" Yiannopoulos bellowed. "Let's leave Johnny behind, guys!"

Three of the four men boarded Yiannopoulos' dragon, but it was too late. Someone aboard Millen's airship hurled a rope, which entangled the beast. It could not take off.

"You're not going anywhere!" Millen sneered. "Your backsides are mine!"

Millen and his goons quickly corralled the four men with more pieces of rope, and soon enough Emmitt and his friends were onboard Millen's airship, which was, well, quite interesting. There were numerous statues of what looked like rear ends, and there were piles of kielbasas near these statues.

"For when there aren't any 100-percent USDA Men available," Millen explained once noticing that his captives were looking at the statues quizzically. "But no matter, you four will soon receive proper punishment."

Millen and three other men tied Emmitt and his friends to chairs in one of the cabins.

"Let me introduce my comrades," Millen said, pointing to each of the three men. "This is John Idzik, who once made some excellent transactions for the New York Jets. This is Trent Baalke, who correctly thought he was smarter than Jim Harbaugh, and justly fired him as a result. And this floppy-haired fellow is Gene Smith, who once brilliantly selected a punter over worthless quarterback Russell Wilson. We, as well as our leader, Hillary Clinton, comprise the League of Failed General Managers!"

"You guys suck!" Manziel exclaimed, squirming around, trying to get free.

"You're right, we do suck!" Millen replied. "We suck the kielbasas we insert into each other's backsides! That's the sucking we do! Get it!? It's a play on words! Ha!

"You four are in trouble," Millen continued, becoming more focused. "Emmitt, I've vowed to get revenge on you for banishing me to an alternate dimension, and now my sweet revenge is about to be fulfilled! I will hand all of you over to Hillary Clinton soon enough, but first, I have some kielbasas ready to insert into your backsides!"

"I have a better idea, sexy," Yiannopoulos said.

"Uhh... wait, what? A better idea?" Millen asked, his interest clearly piqued.

"Yes, sexy," Yiannopoulos said. "I have a wide enough backside for all four of you men to insert your kielbasas into mine at the same time."

"Four- wait- four kielbasas at the same time?" Millen asked, completely taken aback. "How- how is that possible? Only- only a 400-percent USDA Man would be able to handle that."

"I'm 4,000-percent USDA Man," Yiannopoulos replied. "If you don't believe me, why don't you find out?"

Millen quickly ushered Yiannopoulos away, and his cohorts quickly followed. Hours later, Yiannopoulos returned, but was crawling.

"Guys, I took one for the team," he gasped, handing Emmitt a knife that belonged to one of the LFGM members. "You can take my dragon and escape, but please leave me behind. I- I don't think I can live much longer after enduring all the kielbasas from those disgusting slobs."

"I will never forgetted what you doned for us, Mike Metropolis," Emmitt said. "I will never forgetted your name and I will recite it for the history book to tape record."

Yiannopoulos, unfortunately, did not hear what Emmitt said, as he passed out. Emmitt quickly cut himself loose, and then did the same for Manziel and Crowell. They then freed the dragon, climbed onto its back and flew off into the sunset.





EMMITT EXPOSES HILLARY CLINTON


By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Friday, Sept. 20, 2019


Emmitt, Johnny Manziel and Isaiah Crowell had no idea how to ride a dragon, but Milo Yiannopoulos' pet did all of the work for them.

"Let's go to the League of Failed General Managers' base so we can expose Hillary Clinton!" Manziel chirped, and the dragon suddenly changed directions and flew toward that direction. A half hour later, it came to a sudden halt, and the three men quickly understood why. There was an electric field surrounding the compound, rendering it completely inaccessible.

"Look like there a thunderstorm on the building," Emmitt said. "But I do not hear the lightning. Do anybody else hear the lightning?"

Emmitt's friends ignored the question, instead recommending that they make camp for the night while they mulled their options. Emmitt had no issue falling asleep, but was unceremoniously awakened by a strange noise.

"Guys, maybe that finally the lightning noise!" Emmitt exclaimed, awakening his two friends, who hastily moved into positions to defend themselves.

Something emerged from the water. It was Warren Sapp, who looked even more like a shark than before. As a nearly completely transformed wereshark, he was almost unrecognizable, but his Buccaneers jersey gave him away.

"Hey guys, I see you only have three members in your party," Sapp said. "Can I join again?"

"Of course, welcome back to the team!" Manziel said excitedly, though his tone quickly waned. "We don't know what to do though, it looks like Hillary Clinton has created an electronic field around the League of Failed General Managers building, so we can't get in and flash the Mirror of Ra at her to finally expose who she really is."

"Yeah, we are at a lossed," Emmitt added. "And there's a thunderstorm too with mute lightning."

"Well, it's a good thing I found you guys!" Sapp exclaimed. "Because look at what I found around the moat of the LFGM facility!"

The three men instantly recognized Sapp's treasure. It was one of the guns used to shoot teleportation butterflies.

"I normally wouldn't be excited about having a gun that can't shoot Five-O," Crowell said. "But we can use this to get into the LFGM building."

Emmitt, Manziel and Crowell told Sapp about what happened to them aboard Matt Millen's airship, with Sapp nearly vomiting a couple of times once they described Yiannopoulos' fate. After some more discussion, the four men turned in for the night.

Once the sun rose, they realized that they would need a camera of sorts to instantly stream what would happen live on YouTube, so they went to the Bill Belichick Video Store to purchase the proper equipment.

"Are you guys ready?" Manziel asked after buying the appropriate goods. "There's no turning back."

"Why not?" Emmitt asked. "I can turn around like this, and I just turn back. Let me see if I can turn front. Yes, I just turn front."

Manziel shot his three friends and then himself with the gun, and butterflies instantly shot out. Before they knew it, they were standing in a room with Hillary Clinton. The President had a tray of various torture tools next to her, as she was trying to get information out of Shannon Sharpe, who was tied to a gurney.

"Shannon, my dear friend, you tell me where Emmitt is, and I promise you, you will die a quick death," Clinton said, unaware that she had company.

"I turned on the camera, Emmitt, quickly shine the mirror on her!" Manziel whispered, trying his best to keep Clinton from hearing him. It did not work.

"Emmitt's here!" Clinton exclaimed. "My dear friend, Emmitt! And more friends that I will soon murder!"

Clinton screeched at the top of her lungs, lunging toward them. Emmitt raised the mirror.

There was a bright light, and no one could see anything for several moments. The light then subsided, and Clinton's true form was exposed. No one could believe what they were seeing.

It was Matt Millen.


Emmitt on the Brink Archive:

Emmitt on the Brink Home Page
Season 1, Week 1 - PATRIOTS WIN 84-0 ON SUNDAY; LOSE ON MONDAY - Sept. 12
Season 1, Week 2 - PATRIOTS WIN 11-4 AMID CONFUSION; VICK ARRESTED - Sept. 19
Season 1, Week 3 - PATRIOTS ESCAPE WITH 7-2 WIN; BENGALS FLEE STADIUM - Sept. 26
Season 1, Week 4 - PATRIOTS-LIONS GAME MOVED TO...? - Oct. 3
Season 1, Week 5 - EMMITT'S PLAN TO NEUTRALIZE CHIEFS, TEBOWS FAILS - Oct. 10
Season 1, Week 6 - EMMITT SUSPENDS TWO COACHES; DEVISES OWN GAMEPLAN - Oct. 17
Season 1, Week 7 - AL DAVIS FINDS PROOF OF SABOTAGE; FILES GRIEVANCE - Oct. 24
Season 1, Week 8 - PATRIOTS PREPARE FOR DECLINING DOLPHINS - Oct. 31
Season 1, Week 9 - STEROID SCANDAL HITS FOXBOROUGH - Nov. 7
Season 1, Week 10 - EMMITT TO APPEAR ON REALITY TV SHOW - Nov. 14
Season 1, Week 11 - MORELLI SUSPENSION PENDING; CBS' PORTER CRITICIZES GOODELL - Nov. 21
Season 1, Week 12 - MANGINI'S BIRTHDAY RUINED - Nov. 28
Season 1, Week 13 - CRENNEL EDGES REID IN CHARITY EVENT - Dec. 5
Season 1, Week 14 - MORE THAN 100 NFL PLAYERS TO BE SUSPENDED - Dec. 12
Season 1, Week 15 - COACH NEARLY MISSES INTERNATIONAL GAME - Dec. 19
Season 1, Week 16 - PATRIOTS FIGURE TO ROLL IN MIAMI - Dec. 26
Season 1, Week 17 - AFC PLAYOFF PREVIEW - Jan. 2
Season 1, Week 18 - PLAYOFF ROUND 1 RESULTS - Jan. 9
Season 1, Week 19 - PLAYOFF ROUND 2 RESULTS - Jan. 16
Season 1, Week 20 - PATRIOTS TO THE SUPER BOWL! - Jan. 23
Season 1, Week 21 - DID THE PATRIOTS WIN IT ALL WITH EMMITT? - Jan. 31

Season 2, Week 1 - PATRIOTS KICK OFF 2014 SEASON AGAINST THE JETS - Sept. 18
Season 2, Week 2 - JERRY JONES MAKES SURPRISING ANNOUNCEMENT AT HIS WEDDING - Sept. 25
Season 2, Week 3 - MICHAEL VICK SAVES THE DAY IN EAGLES LOSS - Oct. 2
Season 2, Week 4 - AL DAVIS UNLEASHES SECRET WEAPON AGAINST PATRIOTS - Oct. 9
Season 2, Week 5 - MAJOR CHANGES PREVALENT THROUGHOUT THE LEAGUE - Oct. 16
Season 2, Week 6 - PATRIOTS WIN ON A CULTURAL NIGHT IN MIAMI - Oct. 23
Season 2, Week 7 - DANIEL SNYDER HIRES NEW COACHES - Oct. 30
Season 2, Week 8 - SEVERAL PATRIOTS TO APPEAR ON GAME SHOWS - Nov. 6
Season 2, Week 9 - FAVRE RUINS PACKER PLANS AGAIN - Nov. 13
Season 2, Week 10 - PATRIOTS COULD BE IN TROUBLE AGAIN - Nov. 20
Season 2, Week 11 - PATRIOTS HIRE FORMER NO. 1 PICK, SPY - Nov. 27
Season 2, Week 12 - MANGINI'S BIRTHDAY PARTY RUINED AGAIN - Dec. 4
Season 2, Week 13 - THANKSGIVING GAME RECAPS - Dec. 11
Season 2, Week 14 - PATS, BILLS TRAVEL TO NORTH KOREA - Dec. 18
Season 2, Week 15 - PATRIOTS PRACTICE CANCELED; LAUGHING GAS RELEASED - Dec. 26
Season 2, Week 16 - PATRIOTS ONE WIN AWAY FROM PERFECTION - Jan. 2
Season 2, Week 17 - PERFECTION AGAIN - Jan. 9
Season 2, Week 18 - PLAYOFF ROUND 1 RESULTS - Jan. 16
Season 2, Week 19 - PLAYOFF ROUND 2 RESULTS - Jan. 23
Season 2, Week 20 - PATRIOTS ADVANCE TO SUPER BOWL; WILL FACE RAMS AGAIN - Jan. 30
Season 2, Week 21 - PATRIOTS CRUISE TO EASY SUPER BOWL VICTORY; BECOME FIRST TEAM TO GO 19-0 - Feb. 14

Season 3, Week 1 - PATRIOTS KICK OFF 2015 SEASON AGAINST THE DOLPHINS - Sept. 11
Season 3, Week 2 - PATRIOTS FACE AN EASY CHALLENGE AGAINST INJURED LIONS - Sept. 18
Season 3, Week 3 - PATRIOTS AWARDED WIN AS JETS STADIUM IS IN RUINS - Sept. 25
Season 3, Week 4 - PATRIOTS FACE COWBOYS' SECRET WEAPON - Oct. 2
Season 3, Week 5 - PATRIOTS LOSE VALUABLE MEMBER OF TEAM - Oct. 9
Season 3, Week 6 - PATRIOTS OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR IN HOT WATER AGAIN - Oct. 16
Season 3, Week 7 - GOODELL AIMS TO IMPROVE PLAYER SAFETY; LEAGUE ANGERED - Oct. 23
Season 3, Week 8 - EMMITT DISTRAUGHT AFTER WAR OF WORDS WITH DENVER COACH - Oct. 30
Season 3, Week 9 - MANGINI'S CELEBRATION RUINED; COACH TO MISS GAME - Nov. 6
Season 3, Week 10 - PATRIOTS QUARTERBACK TO MAKE CAMEO APPEARANCE ON ENCOURAGE - Nov. 13
Season 3, Week 11 - AL DAVIS' DARK MAGIC BACKFIRES; PATRIOTS NOW 10-0 - Nov. 20
Season 3, Week 12 - EMMITT RETURNS TO PATRIOTS AFTER INTERVIEW - Nov. 27
Season 3, Week 13 - FORMER QUARTERBACK HOLDS SYMPOSIUM - Dec. 4
Season 3, Week 14 - PATRIOTS DRAFT SON OF FORMER NFL QUARTERBACK - Dec. 11
Season 3, Week 15 - EAGLES RECEIVER LEADS ALL PLAYERS IN PRO BOWL VOTING - Dec. 18
Season 3, Week 16 - PATRIOTS-VIKINGS GAME TO BE MOVED - Dec. 25
Season 3, Week 17 - WEATHER RUINS PATRIOTS-JETS FINALE - Jan. 1
Season 3, Week 18 - PATRIOTS, RAIDERS AWAIT WINNERS OF WILD CARD ROUND - Jan. 8
Season 3, Week 19 - PATRIOTS-RAIDERS TO MEET IN AFC CHAMPIONSHIP THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR - Jan. 15
Season 3, Week 20 - OLD FOE RETURNS TO HELP PATRIOTS VANQUISH RAIDERS IN AFC CHAMPIONSHIP - Jan. 22
Season 3, Week 21 - PATRIOTS REPEAT AS CHAMPIONS - Feb. 8

Season 4, Week 1 - EMMITT LOOKING FOR WORK - Sept. 11
Season 4, Week 2 - CHRIS JOHNSON WANTS MORE MONEY - Sept. 18
Season 4, Week 3 - ARIAN FOSTER INJURED, ARRESTED AND SUSPENDED - Sept. 25
Season 4, Week 4 - DESEAN JACKSON BANNED FROM NFL - Oct. 2
Season 4, Week 5 - EMMITT REPLACES HANK WILLIAMS ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL - Oct. 8
Season 4, Week 6 - ANDY REID ON THE HOT SEAT AGAIN - Oct. 15
Season 4, Week 7 - HARBAUGH, SCHWARTZ PREPARE FOR BATTLE - Oct. 22
Season 4, Week 8 - NO TEAMS SHOW UP FOR TERRELL OWENS' WORKOUT AGAIN - Oct. 29
Season 4, Week 9 - JAMARCUS RUSSELL DISCUSSES COACHING STRATEGY - Nov. 5
Season 4, Week 10 - SANDUSKY BLOWS WHISTLE ON VICK - Nov. 12
Season 4, Week 11 - VICK DOG RAPE FALLOUT - Nov. 19
Season 4, Week 12 - SUH ASSIGNED TO ANGER MANAGEMENT - Nov. 26
Season 4, Week 13 - SKITTLE WARRIORS FAIL TO ISSUE VERDICT ON STEVE JOHNSON - Dec. 3
Season 4, Week 14 - EMMITT STOPS EVIL TIM TEBOW - Dec. 10
Season 4, Week 15 - SKITTLE WARRIORS ARREST SAM HURD - Dec. 17
Season 4, Week 16 - THE BEAST IS UNLEASHED; HELL IS UPON US - Dec. 24
Season 4, Week 17 - NEW NFL LOCKOUT HAS EVERYONE MIFFED - Dec. 31

Season 5, Week 1 - ALL SAINTS' GAMES SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE - Sept. 3
Season 5, Week 2 - BOUNTYGATE II SEXUAL ACTS CONTINUE - Sept. 10
Season 5, Week 3 - REPLACEMENT OFFICIAL TARGETED AS MAJOR SUSPECT IN BOUNTYGATE II - Sept. 17
Season 5, Week 4 - GREG SCHIANO GOES TOO FAR THIS TIME - Sept. 24
Season 5, Week 5 - POLICE STRIKE OVER; EMMITT HAS WARRANT IN HAND - Oct. 1
Season 5, Week 6 - ROGER GOODELL ARRESTED AND RELEASED - Oct. 8
Season 5, Week 7 - A LONG, BUT USEFUL DETOUR FOR EMMITT AND HIS CREW - Oct. 15
Season 5, Week 8 - EMMITT IS ARRESTED! - Oct. 22
Season 5, Week 9 - EMMITT FINDS A FRIEND IN JAIL - Oct. 29
Season 5, Week 10 - NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO CONVICT JONATHAN VILMA - Nov. 7
Season 5, Week 11 - ERIC MANGINI AND ASIAN ERIN ANDREWS' WEDDING - Nov. 14
Season 5, Week 12 - BOUNTYGATE II GOES BEYOND THE NFL - Nov. 21
Season 5, Week 13 - JERRY JONES FINALLY FIRES HIMSELF - Nov. 28
Season 5, Week 14 - EMMITT FINALLY ON RIGHT TRACK TO FINDING BOUNTYGATE II MASTERMIND - Dec. 5
Season 5, Week 15 - EMMITT FINALLY MEETS MASTERMIND OF BOUNTYGATE II - Dec. 12
Season 5, Week 16 - EMMITT'S FRIENDS TO THE RESCUE! - Dec. 19
Season 5, Week 17 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS REWARDED FOR ENDING BOUNTYGATE II - Dec. 26

Season 6, Week 1 - CONTROVERSIAL DIVISIONAL REALIGNMENT IN THE NFL - Sept. 7
Season 6, Week 2 - MORE PUNISHMENT FOR RILEY COOPER - Sept. 14
Season 6, Week 3 - BROWNS SHOCK NFL WITH ANOTHER TRADE - Sept. 21
Season 6, Week 4 - EMMITT FOUND IN THE MOST UNUSUAL PLACE - Sept. 28
Season 6, Week 5 - EMMITT MEETS WITH FBI FOR LLOYD INVESTIGATION - Oct. 5
Season 6, Week 6 - EMMITT QUESTIONS BOB KRAFT - Oct. 12
Season 6, Week 7 - THE WALKING BUCS - Oct. 19
Season 6, Week 8 - NFL ADMITS TO TWO OFFICIATING BLUNDERS - Oct. 26
Season 6, Week 9 - CONTROVERSY OVER OTHER NFL TEAM NAMES - Nov. 2
Season 6, Week 10 - MARTIN AND INCOGNITO SQUARE OFF IN TOURNAMENT - Nov. 9
Season 6, Week 11 - NFL ANNOUNCES RELOCATION OF JAGUARS - Nov. 16
Season 6, Week 12 - JOSH FREEMAN'S SECRET IS EXPOSED - Nov. 23
Season 6, Week 13 - NFL SUSPENDS MERIWEATHER, HITNER INDEFINITELY - Nov. 30
Season 6, Week 14 - DISASTER STRIKES AT LOWE FAMILY TURKEY BOWL - Dec. 7
Season 6, Week 15 - A FATEFUL BARBEQUE AT BELICHICK'S HOUSE - Dec. 14
Season 6, Week 16 - WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO AARON HERNANDEZ - Dec. 21
Season 6, Week 17 - TROUBLING TIMES AHEAD - Dec. 28

Season 7, Week 1 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS ESCAPE DOWNTOWN ABBOTT - Sept. 5
Season 7, Week 2 - WHAT HAPPENED TO JOSH GORDON - Sept. 12
Season 7, Week 3 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS LOST AT SEA - Sept. 19
Season 7, Week 4 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS EXPLORE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND - Sept. 26
Season 7, Week 5 - MANZIEL REVEALS SECRET TO EMMITT - Oct. 3
Season 7, Week 6 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS FIND THEMSELVES IN MIDDLE OF GANG WAR - Oct. 10
Season 7, Week 7 - EMMITT CONFRONTS LEADER OF THE BLOODS - Oct. 17
Season 7, Week 8 - JIM IRSAY DESTROYS CRIPS' HEADQUARTERS - Oct. 24
Season 7, Week 9 - EMMITT TRAPPED INSIDE THE TOWN - Oct. 31
Season 7, Week 10 - NEW THREAT IN WALKING BUC APOCALYPSE - Nov. 7
Season 7, Week 11 - DESEAN JACKSON SAVES EMMITT FROM ANDY REID - Nov. 14
Season 7, Week 12 - UNDERSTANDING JUSTIN BIEBER�S POWERS - Nov. 21
Season 7, Week 13 - THIEF THROWS WRENCH INTO PLANS - Nov. 28
Season 7, Week 14 - OLD NEMESIS TRIES TO THWART PLANS - Dec. 5
Season 7, Week 15 - ADRIAN PETERSON'S STORY - Dec. 12
Season 7, Week 16 - GATHERING THE WALKING BUCS - Dec. 19
Season 7, Week 17 - ADRIAN PETERSON USES THE SWITCH OF DESTINY; CARL NICKS ATTACKS - Dec. 26

Season 8, Week 1 - OUTRAGE OVER DEFLATEGATE - Sept. 15
Season 8, Week 2 - EMMITT STOPS SEEMINGLY HORRIBLE CRIME - Sept. 22
Season 8, Week 3 - CHIP KELLY ACCUSED OF BEING RACIST AGAIN - Sept. 29
Season 8, Week 4 - EMMITT SAVES JAY CUTLER WITH SOME HELP - Oct. 7
Season 8, Week 5 - MORE EVIDENCE AGAINST TOM BRADY - Oct. 14
Season 8, Week 6 - INSIDE EMMITT'S MEETING WITH KIM JONG-UN - Oct. 21
Season 8, Week 7 - DIANNA MARIE RUSSINI�S PLAN TO STEAL NORTH KOREA�S NUCLEAR KEY - Oct. 28
Season 8, Week 8 - ENTERING THE NORTH KOREA NUCLEAR FACILITY - Nov. 4
Season 8, Week 9 - ESCAPING FROM JARED FOGLE'S DUNGEON - Nov. 11
Season 8, Week 10 - KIM JONG-UN MAKES STARTLING ANNOUNCEMENT - Nov. 18
Season 8, Week 11 - EMMITT AND HIS CREW MEET WITH MICHAEL SAM - Nov. 25
Season 8, Week 12 - OLD NEMESIS ABDUCTS EMMITT AND FRIENDS - Dec. 2
Season 8, Week 13 - EMMITT AND COMPANY INVADE JARED FOGLE'S MANOR - Dec. 9
Season 8, Week 14 - KIM JONG-UN MAKES ULTIMATE THREAT AGAINST AMERICA - Dec. 16
Season 8, Week 15 - THE STARTLING TRUTH ABOUT KIM JONG-UN - Dec. 23
Season 8, Week 16 - ROGER GOODELL AND KIM JONG-UN - Dec. 30

Season 9, Week 1 - EMMITT'S BUTTERFLIES - Sept. 13
Season 9, Week 2 - EMMITT SEEKS HELP FOR NEW DANGER - Sept. 20
Season 9, Week 3 - EMMITT IN HOT WATER AFTER INTERVIEW - Sept. 27
Season 9, Week 4 - EMMITT SAVES OLD FRIEND FROM TROUBLE - Oct. 3
Season 9, Week 5 - JOHNNY MANZIEL RECOUNTS EVENTS OF PAST FIVE MONTHS - Oct. 10
Season 9, Week 6 - EMMITT INCITES RIOT - Oct. 17
Season 9, Week 7 - COLLEGE STUDENTS AIM TO DEBACLE EMMITT AND FRIENDS - Oct. 24
Season 9, Week 8 - THE GRAND MASTER PLAN OF THE LEAGUE OF FAILED GENERAL MANAGERS - Oct. 31
Season 9, Week 9 - HOW A SHARK SAVED EMMITT'S LIFE - Nov. 7
Season 9, Week 10 - EMMITT MEETS WITH DONALD TRUMP - Nov. 14
Season 9, Week 11 - CAN EMMITT SURVIVE ATTACK FROM COLLEGE IDIOTS? - Nov. 21
Season 9, Week 12 - EMMITT EXPOSES HILLARY CLINTON - Nov. 28
Season 9, Week 13 - THE CONNECTION BETWEEN HILLARY CLINTON AND MATT MILLEN - Dec. 5
Season 9, Week 14 - EMMITT SEEKS TO SAVE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE - Dec. 12
Season 9, Week 15 - INSIDE THE EVIL DIMENSION - Dec. 19
Season 9, Week 16 - GOOD EMMITT VERSUS EVIL EMMITT - Dec. 26

Season 10, Week 1 - A YEAR OF EVIL EMMITT - Sept. 12
Season 10, Week 2 - EVIL EMMITT MEETS WITH ROGER GOODELL - Sept. 19
Season 10, Week 3 - BROCK OSWEILER HOSTS ESPYS - Sept. 26
Season 10, Week 4 - THE SINGLE RANGER SEEKS TO HELP EMMITT - Oct. 2
Season 10, Week 5 - EVIL EMMITT AND EZEKIEL ELLIOTT JOIN FORCES WITH DANTE FOWLER - Oct. 9
Season 10, Week 6 - EMMITT SEEKS OUT ELI MANNING IN MISTISSIPPI - Oct. 16
Season 10, Week 7 - EMMITT REQUESTS THE RICE OF PASSAGE - Oct. 23
Season 10, Week 8 - EMMITT ENTERS THE DRAGONLORD'S CASTLE - Oct. 30
Season 10, Week 9 - EMMITT MEETS DRAGONLORD ROSIE O'DONNELL - Nov. 6
Season 10, Week 10 - OBTAINING BRETT FAVRE'S GOOSE EGG - Nov. 13









NFL Picks - Nov. 18


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


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2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5




 





 

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