Emmitt on the Brink – Season 12: Week 4

Emmitt on the Brink.

The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith. Three years later, the Patriots beat the Bears in the Super Bowl, 2-0. After the game, Emmitt announced his retirement.

This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter’s perspective and follow Emmitt through his post-retirement days.

Of course, you can always look at all of Emmitt’s quotes in the Emmitt Smith Anthology.

Emmitt Smith 2015 New England Patriots head coach.

Emmitt Smith announce his unretirement!

EMMITT’S TRUEBORN SON HEADS NORTH

By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Tuesday, Dec. 22, 2020

The two had greatly enjoyed their trysts. Their love was forbidden and illogical. And yet, it was also irresistible.

“Please don’t go to Antarctica on this senseless mission,” said Emmitt’s secretary and assistant Melissa Stark.

“Beep, if only I were in command as I should be, we wouldn’t have to worry about me leaving you, beep,” said the Goodell Bot 2.0.

Stark blushed and ran her hand through Goodell Bot 2.0’s hair. She couldn’t describe why she fell in love with Goodell Bot 2.0, or why he reciprocated those feelings. Goodell Bot 2.0 was not equipped sexually, so it could never be inside her. Perhaps they could scissor on her native beach in Ocean City, N.J.

A door closed behind them. Stark pushed herself away from Goodell Bot 2.0, as she didn’t want to get the machine into trouble with her new boss. Emmitt apparently hadn’t recognized what had just transpired, as he looked as calm and confused as usual.

“My son Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith suppose to be meeting me here in the office, do you seened him today?” he asked Stark.

“I believe he was waiting for you in the lobby, so I’m surprised you didn’t see him,” she said.

“That probably because I was on the telephone machine with my son Emmitt Snow Jr., who making himselves at house in the city of Antarctica,” Emmitt explained. “He ask me again about who his mother is since I say we gonna talk about it the next times we talking to each other, but I make up an accuse and telled him that I forgetted what happen and need to check back in my diary.”

“Why don’t you just tell him who his mother is?” Stark asked.

“Beep, or you could go straight to punishment and suspend him for a year, beep,” Goodell Bot 2.0 chimed in.

“It really important to everything and it gonna impact the entire worlds, so I need himselves to be prepare when I telled him,” Emmitt explained. “But for now, I gonna go down to the lobber and see my other sons.”

Emmitt took the elevator back down to the lobby where he spotted Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith looking frustrated.

“Dad, you walked right by me!” Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith chirped.

“Sorry, my son, I do not mean any disrespectfulness,” Emmitt said. “I was on the telephone gadget, and you know what happen when I lost my train of thought. The train sometime crash and runned over people on the roadrail track!”

“I know, dad, but I just wanted to say goodbye,” Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith said.

“I not a genius, but I think you mean hello because we just sawed each other for the first time since home,” Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith said.

“No, I mean, I’m leaving,” Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith revealed. “I’m departing from home.”

Emmitt was taken aback. His bastard son ventured off to Antarctica, but he never imagined that he would be saying farewell to his trueborn son so soon.

“Where you going?” Emmitt asked

“I’m heading north,” Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith said. “I want to see what’s north of North America.”

“That are good question,” Emmitt said, scratching the stubble on his chin. “Maybe I would knowed this if I take geology class seriously in Florida State College, but I always falled asleep.”

“I know, dad,” Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith said. “I’ve always asked you what’s north of North America, and you’ve told me that you were always asleep in geography class. Now, it’s time for me to find out.”

The two embraced, and just like that, Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith left the building. Emmitt suddenly had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he would never see Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith again.