Welcome to my 17th-annual Super Bowl Live Blog. I’ll be posting comments like this throughout the evening every few minutes. Keep refreshing this page if you want to check out what I think about the game, announcers, commercials, etc.
You can also discuss Super Bowl LVII in the comment board below.
Follow @walterfootball for updates.
6:25: We’re live for the 17th year in a row! Check out the NFL Picks page for our final thoughts on the game, as well as three more prop bets on the game.
6:26: I’m watching this at my parents’ house with my dad and my BFF Body Burner. My dad just asked why Denzel Washington is singing America the Beautiful.
6:28: I didn’t know if Chris Singleton was a guy or a girl before today, and now I know.
6:29: R.I.P. to those who bet the under for the national anthem. This will end by 7 p.m. at this rate.
6:35: So much for starting the game at 6:30.
6:37: Cue the awkward conversation between the ref and the fat lady.
6:39: The sharps were on tails. The sharps win yet again.
6:40: If you shorted every company that advertised last year’s Super Bowl, you’d be a millionaire. I’m looking for companies to short tonight.
6:41: Not shorting Turbotax. As long as our government acts like the mafia and steals from its citizens, you can always profit on tax companies.
6:44: After a billion national anthems, we have football! I was looking forward to the Asian national anthem, but I must have missed it.
6:46: Eagles convert their initial third down, but DeVnta Smith was blasted at the end.
6:47: Jalen Hurts missed a wide-open Dallas Goedert, but he rushed for a first down.
6:50: Four-down territory here for the Eagles at the Kansas City 3-yard line.
6:51: Touchdown, Eagles! Kenneth Gainwell with a 3-yard run … but it’s close.
6:52: He’s inches shy, but it’ll be a first down.
6:53: Touchdown for real! Jalen Hurts with yet another sneak.
Eagles 7, Chiefs 0
6:54: Yeah, I’m sure Jennifer Lopez is pulling up to Dunkin Donuts all the time. What are the odds that she has even driven in the past five years? 6:58: Travis Kelce to midfield, and Patrick Mahomes gets over it. His ankle looks just fine.
7:00: Touchdown, Chiefs! Travis Kelce scores way too easily.
Chiefs 7, Eagles 7
7:02: Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Adult Diaper
7:03: I want to short eTrade for that commercial. I always thought baby-talking ads were creepy as hell.
7:05: Imagine being Remy Martin and paying millions of dollars for that horrible Venus Williams commercial.
7:07: The offensive pass interference call by Carl Chiefers was a killer, and so was running on first-and-20. I hate when teams do that. It never works.
7:08: And because of that dumb first-and-20 run, the Eagles have to punt.
7:10: Wow, Alicia Silverstone is still a smokeshow. Anyway, want to hear about how pathetic Harrisburg is? That city is so proud of their Bass Pro Shops store that they named a street after it. There’s a Bass Pro Shops Avenue in Harrisburg.
7:12: Carl Chiefers thinks that everyone has tuned in to watch him and his crew tonight.
7:14: My dad is going to have an anuerysm if Travis Kelce catches another pass without anyone around him again.
7:15: Eagles get a stop on third down. Harrison Butker on to kick.
7:16: I wrote that thinking Butker would definitely hit the 42-yarder. Doink! Off the upright.
7:21: Jalen Hurts seems to have bet the over rushing yards for himself as well.
7:22: A.J. Brown with his first catch. The Eagles move over midfield as the first quarter ends.
7:26: My sister is telling me about a movie she wrote that will be produced soon. My dad is talking about the 76ers signing Danny Green. My brain just wondered about what sort of movie Danny Green is producing.
7:27: Touchdown, Jalen Hurts to A.J. Brown, 45 yards!
Eagles 14, Chiefs 7
7:33: GMC is talking about EVs. That’s on the short list. Douche bags in big cities don’t want to hear this, but EVs are horrible for the environment.
7:38: Isaac Seumalo false starts on third-and-1, and then Jalen Hurts loses a fumble returned for a touchdown by Nick Bolton.
Chiefs 14, Eagles 14
7:45: “I’m Greg Olsen, and I’ve had too many concussions, so nothing makes sense when I talk.” – Body Burner
7:46: Although, Jalen Hurts is throwing too often into double coverage.
7:48: Can’t stand when teams run on third-and-7 over midfield as a hedge.
7:49: Big first down, and I think Hurts went over his rushing prop!
7:52: Jalen Hurts rushing touchdown! The second of the night!
Eagles 21, Chiefs 14
7:57: It’s felt like an eternity since Patrick Mahomes has been on the field.
8:00: Imagine being pathetic enough to drink alcohol-free beer.
8:01: Is that Damar Hamlin or a Damar Hamlin body double?
8:02: Poor Greg Olsen thinks every pass is a good one because he played with Rex Grossman and Jimmy Clausen.
8:03: Mahomes limping off the field. Uh oh!
8:04: I feel semi-guilty about Mahomes being hurt. Body Burner and I were joking about using MTG spells on Mahomes. Dismember him, give him -5/-5! Lightning Bolt him, three damage! Path to Exile! Mahomes is kicked out of the stadium, but Andy Reid gets an extra land!
8:05: I’d say that injury was a Lightning Bolt, or perhaps Shock. Mahomes will still play, but he’ll be banged up a bit.
8:09: I think that’s a catch, but who the hell knows these days.
8:10: My dad is pissed because he thinks Andy Reid challenged this. “Andy Reid is such a fat, f**king-” but then I told him that Reid didn’t challenge.
8:11: Carl Chiefers rules it incomplete. All the calls have gone against the Eagles thus far.
8:14: “Is that Andy Reid? Is he still alive!?” – my sister.
8:15: Because of the overturned call, the Eagles settle for a field goal.
Eagles 24, Chiefs 14
8:29: I’m sorry I haven’t typed anything in a while. I got some wings, and besides, this music is so beautiful.
8:30: I’m really digging the KKK members surrounding Rihanna. It’s a nice touch.
8:32: My mom seems to think these KKK members are all Asians. It’s great to hear that the KKK is being more inclusive these days.
8:35: “Money on my mind, money, money on my mind.” I want to one day meet the person who wrote these lyrics and shake their hand.
8:40: The consensus here is that this is a boring halftime. I don’t know, we’ve had Asian KKK members and great lyrics like “money, money on my mind.” How can you beat that?
8:43: I’m going to short the NFL after that female flag football commercial.
8:45: Why was Andy Reid limping out of the locker room? Did he give Patrick Mahomes his leg?
8:50: The game’s back on! It would be 24-7 right now if it wasn’t for that scoop-and-score.
8:52: Andy Reid’s leg is working pretty well so far.
8:54: First-and-goal Chiefs on a Mahomes run. No ankle injury to speak of.
8:56: Touchdown, Chiefs. Isiah Pacheco runs in untoched from the one.
Eagles 24, Chiefs 21
8:58: “Air, Rated-R? It’s a movie about a shoe!” – Body Burner
9:01: Nick Bolton for MVP if that stands.
9:02: Incomplete! Thank goodness.
9:03: No more Super Bowls in Arizona until they fix this grass s**t. They might as well be playing on ice.
9:07: We have reached the Quez Watkins drops a pass portion of the game.
9:08: What a catch by Dallas Goedert to convert third-and-14!
9:09: “So many rules, bobble, shmobble!” – my dad
9:10: A year later, the Chiefs have challenged.
9:13: My dad just gave the middle finger to Andy Reid. I imagine Reid will be crying himself to sleep tonight because of that.
9:18: Ugh, burning a timeout to avoid a delay of game is a killer.
9:19: I read the Play 60 thing with the little girl as the little girl attempting a 60-yard field goal. Can you imagine if she made it?
9:20: The Eagles should have gone for it if they used a timeout. Nevertheless, the kick is good.
Eagles 27, Chiefs 21
9:21: This is my predicted score, and I will win $1,400 if the game is scoreless the rest of the way!
9:25: The Eagles suddenly can’t stop the run again. This is concerning.
9:31: Eagles defense looks gassed, likely from the halftime show because they haven’t played very much. That defensive touchdown earlier is a killer right now.
9:32: Touchdown, Chiefs. The Eagles completely forgot about Kadarius Toney, as did everyone else. I forgot he existed before that catch.
Chiefs 28, Eagles 27
9:39: What was that drive? That long halftime killed the Eagles. And now the Chiefs are inside the 10 with that Toney return.
9:42: Why would the Eagles send an all-out blitz against Mahomes? What a dumb thing to do. Touchdown, Chiefs. Mahomes to Skyy Moore, who did something for the first time all year.
Chiefs 35, Eagles 27
9:50: DeVonta Smith with a huge catch! But why did he fall out of bounds?
9:51: Touchdown, Jalen Hurts sneak!
9:52: The two-pointer is good. Tie game!
Eagles 35, Chiefs 35
9:53: If the Eagles can’t stop the Chiefs here, they should ask for their money back from Vic Fangio.
9:56: “Break his legs!” – my dad on Pacheco.
9:57: I don’t know why the Eagles corners can’t cover these crappy Chiefs receivers. Why did Arizona want to hire Jonathan Gannon?
9:58: Pacheco’s legs are broken!
9:59: FOX’s play-by-play guy: “Let’s hope Pacheco’s OK.” My dad and Body Burner in unison: “I’m not!”
10:01: “They need to break Pacheco’s left leg.” – my dad. His right leg is OK. The left one is the problem.
10:02: Big scramble by Mahomes. Chiefs in the red zone. Was Vic Fangio a plant by the Chiefs?
10:03: Two-minute warning. If the Chiefs get a first down, the game is over.
10:05: FOX doesn’t have anything better to air after the Super Bowl than some dumb cooking show? Ouch.
10:07: Wow, the officials deciding the game for the Chiefs once again.
10:08: That is such a horse s**t penalty. Ridiculous.
10:09: Just got a text: “The fix is in.”
10:11: Why did they even bother playing the game? The refs could have just told us what would happen this morning.
Chiefs 38, Eagles 35
10:14: The refs have won Super Bowl LVII! Yeah!
10:16: Well, congrats to those who bet the refs to win the Super Bowl. It was quite the performance. I didn’t think they’d win, but they came through in the clutch with that penalty on James Bradberry.
10:18: The MVP probably goes to Mahomes, right? Or maybe Carl Chiefers.
10:19: I’m going to have the Super Bowl LVII Recap at some point tonight. In the meantime, you can check out our 2023 NFL Mock Draft and 2024 NFL Mock Draft. Thanks for reading my incoherent thoughts throughout this rigged Super Bowl!
2024 NFL Mock Draft - April 16
NFL Power Rankings - Feb. 22
Fantasy Football Rankings - Feb. 19
NFL Picks - Feb. 12
