Updated: Oct. 23
Buffalo Bills (2-5) - Previously: 29.
The Bills with Josh Allen are not the worst team in the NFL. The Bills without Josh Allen are the worst team in the NFL.
Sean McDermott, who iced the kicker while down 21-0 right before halftime - nice job, bro - was forced into starting Derek Anderson, or he'd "lose the locker room," per a report. Call me crazy, but if the players are already dictating which quarterback a coach is starting, that coach has already lost the locker room.
Then again, perhaps this was decided via a different fashion... Yes, I think you know what time it is!
The Adventures of Derek Anderson's Magic Flask!
LeSean McCoy: Coach McDermott, who are you starting next week? Nathan Peterman or Derek Anderson?
Sean McDermott: Is this even a question? Nathan Peterman, of course. He looks so great in practice.
LeSean McCoy: No, please. Not Peterman. Don't start him, I beg you! Tell 'em, Kelvin!
Kelvin Benjamin: Huh? I don't really care.
LeSean McCoy: Hey Vontae, you t- never mind. Gosh, this is horrible. I can't believe I have to resort to this, but... Derek, come here.
Derek Anderson: Yoouuuu rraananngg???
LeSean McCoy: Derek, this is an emergency. Give Coach McDermott some of what you have in your magical flask!
San Francisco 49ers (1-6) - Previously: 32.
Thank you, C.J. Boat Hard, C.J. Boat Hat, C.J. Boat Horse, whatever your name is, for restoring my faith in humanity. I thought life was suddenly a cruel reality where terrible quarterbacks cover the spread following the Monday night battle with the Packers, but you came through with a terrible performance versus the Rams, giving your team no chance to cover the spread. Thank you.
Oakland Raiders (1-5) - Previously: 31.
I'm not very down on Jon Gruden, as he can turn things around in the long term. However, I found the Web site Is Gruden Gone Yet?. It's hilarious, so check it out if you haven't already.
Arizona Cardinals (1-6) - Previously: 30.
I was going to say that Mike McCoy should be fired for that miserable performance against the Broncos, but that may not be necessary...
Despite McCoy's apparent death, the Cardinals fired him anyway. What a**holes.
New York Giants (1-6) - Previously: 28.
Eli Manning threw for 399 yards, but he couldn't get one yard on the ground during two sneaks. What the hell was that, by the way? I've never seen a professional athlete move so glacially on two consecutive plays. I've written that Manning looked like an old woman who bent over slowly to look for her glasses, and that's not an exaggeration.
Afterward, Manning had the following question for Pat "Go for Two" Shurmur:
Denver Broncos (3-4) - Previously: 27.
The Broncos may have entered overrated territory in the wake of their win over the Cardinals. They prevailed 45-10, but were simply taking advantage of a putrid team playing on three days of rest. The Eagles did the exact same thing to the Giants the week before.
Denver still has countless problems. Case Keenum is very pedestrian - he had fewer than 100 passing yards if you don't count the play in which he found Emmanuel Sanders wide open in busted coverage - the offensive line sucks, and the defense can't defend the run or the middle of the field.
New York Jets (3-4) - Previously: 25.
Turns out that battling the Broncos and Colts, two teams with a combined record of 5-9, isn't the same as going up against the Vikings. I thought the Jets would actually beat Minnesota. Oops.
I don't know what happened to Sam Darnold. His accuracy against the Vikings was abysmal. I don't even think it was anything Minnesota did defensively. Darnold just sucked.
Miami Dolphins (4-3) - Previously: 19.
Let's not overreact to Miami's win over Chicago. The Dolphins got the Bears in a rough spot, as Chicago's defense melted on the field in 100-degree heat and humidity. Had the Bears just taken care of the ball in the second half, they would've won.
Yep. No one should be surprised that the Dolphins lost to the Lions by double digits. The scary thing is that they did so with Brock Osweiler playing his best football. Imagine an average Osweiler game. That could've been a 49-0 loss!
Cleveland Browns (2-4-1) - Previously: 17.
Don't let the 26-23 score fool you. The Browns were blown out in Tampa. The Buccaneers had 34 first downs compared to Cleveland's 17. They also had 150 more net yards of offense. They just killed themselves with dumb mistakes throughout the afternoon after they went up 16-2 and 23-9.
Thanks to the numerous blunders, the Browns had a chance to win at the end, or at least tie again. A 2-3-2 record would've been sweet, but, well, let's allow Baker Mayfield's face tell the story:
Indianapolis Colts (2-5) - Previously: 26.
The Colts averaged 6.3 drops per game in three contests without T.Y. Hilton. With Hilton back, Andrew Luck had six incompletions, period. It's amazing how much of a difference Hilton makes. I remember two years ago when I took the Colts as a big bet as home dogs versus the Chiefs, and they got blown out because Hilton got hurt in the first quarter. I blamed my loss on that, and I think this stretch can confirm I was right. Indianapolis' offense sucks without him, as the team doesn't have another viable receiver.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-3) - Previously: 22.
Wow, the Buccaneers really tried their hardest to blow the Cleveland game. They were up 16-2 and 23-9, and yet they surrendered both two-touchdown leads because of countless, unforced errors. I actually kind of liked Tampa at -3.5 with Baker Mayfield banged up and Browns linebacker Joe Schobert out of the lineup, but didn't bet them because of this reasoning:
"I'd really like the Buccaneers if, well, I trusted them at all as a home favorite."
Once again, Tampa was extra aloof at home versus a bad opponent. That's not going to work well against superior competition.
Dallas Cowboys (3-4) - Previously: 23.
I'm sad that I can't list the Cowboys as overrated anymore because they lost at Washington. This made me quite upset until I realized that people will overrate them once again after another 40-7 victory over an opponent that doesn't try hard at all, prompting the announcers to slobber all over their mediocre offensive line, pedestrian receiving corps and sub-par quarterback. And no, a receiver who drops a lot of passes isn't going to help very much.
Seattle Seahawks (3-3) - Previously: 21.
You could make a case for the Seahawks to appear as an overrated team in the Overrated-Underrated page. They clobbered the Raiders, who suck, and they played a close battle against the Rams, but Los Angeles didn't bring its "A" game, especially when considering that two of its three best receivers were knocked out with concussions prior to halftime. The Seahawks still have major problems, and I continue to feel confident about my under 8 wins wager I have on them.
Houston Texans (4-3) - Previously: 20.
"It's hard to win football games. It's the hardest thing in sports." - Bill O'Brien, following the victory over Jacksonville.
No, it's not, Bill. It's not difficult to win football games. If all NFL teams play on a weekend, 16 teams win games, barring ties. Sixteen of 32. That's 50 percent. That means, if all things are even, you can flip a coin and win a game. It's not like two or three out of 32 teams win each week. Sixteen do. It's a 50-50 proposition if all things are even.
But hey, I guess winning football games is difficult if you're a horrible head coach.
Atlanta Falcons (3-4) - Previously: 18.
The Falcons are 3-4, but they've had five of their eight home games already. They still have all of their road divisional games to go, so it's unlikely that they'll be able to rally to make the playoffs.
Cincinnati Bengals (4-3) - Previously: 15. I think it's important to note that the Bengals haven't been the same since losing Tyler Eifert in the Atlanta game. Their offense just hasn't been as potent. In fact, it wasn't even as potent versus the Falcons! In the five drives following the Eifert injury, they went punt, punt, turnover, field goal, then touchdown at the end. This was a game in which they hadn't punted before the Eifert injury. In fact, they barely even got to third downs, as they had just three of them prior to the Eifert injury in the third quarter!
I'd like to post this again, as the Bengals still haven't been properly downgraded since losing Eifert, and also linebacker Nick Vigil, who is great in coverage. Now, Vontaze Burfict could be out. Oh boy.
Well, on the bright side, at least Bengal fans still have this guy (thanks, Mark P.):
Green Bay Packers (3-2-1) - Previously: 16.
I can't believe the Packers are nine-point underdogs at the Rams. That's unbelievable. I never imagined Aaron Rodgers would be a nine-point underdog against anyone, yet here we are.
If you're wondering, Rodgers has been an underdog of at least a touchdown just twice in his career. Both occasions were in the playoffs. He was an eight-point dog in Seattle and a seven-point dog in Arizona. Rodgers lost both games, but covered each, losing by six both times.
Washington Redskins (4-2) - Previously: 10.
The Redskins have been removed from the underrated list because they beat the Cowboys at home. Sure, they could've lost had the Cowboys not screwed up at the end, but they managed to beat a tough Dallas defense without Jamison Crowder and Chris Thompson, which was very impressive. The Redskins are now a game-and-a-half ahead of both the Eagles and Cowboys, though it's worth noting that they haven't played Philadelphia yet.
Philadelphia Eagles (3-4) - Previously: 5.
The Eagles are 3-4, but they would be 5-2 right now if football games were 55 minutes long. It's been disappointing to see their defense have a pair of late-game collapses, but they arguably have the most talent in the entire league, and I believe they'll be quite the force in the second half of the season, particularly when Carson Wentz begins scrambling frequently again.
Carolina Panthers (4-2) - Previously: 8.
I listed the Panthers as underrated last week, but I guess I can't do that anymore after they won in Philadelphia. It was a great comeback from Cam Newton, but it is worrying that Carolina was in a 17-0 hole to begin the afternoon. Still though, they got the win, and now they're 4-1 in games in which the players aren't worrying about the ramifications of a hurricane wrecking their homes and threatening their family's lives.
Baltimore Ravens (4-3) - Previously: 6.
Ugh. Justin Tucker. True story: I usually don't even look at extra points, but for some reason I had a very bad feeling about Tucker's extra point. I actually stopped watching the other games completely to key in on the kick. When he missed, I wasn't even surprised.
I still consider the Ravens to be one of the top teams in the NFL. Their defense sucked against Drew Brees, but they were down Marlon Humphrey, a talented corner. Besides, Baltimore could've won in overtime had Tucker's kick not sailed away in the wind.
It was a bad day for Tucker, for sure, but what about Joe Flacco? He missed the entire city on this throw!
New Orleans Saints (5-1) - Previously: 4.
I love how aggressive the Saints were in Baltimore. They didn't convert one of their four fourth-down attempts on the opening drive, but it really sent a message. Sean Payton's attacking style was a nice breath of fresh air after watching countless incompetent coaches settle for long field goals or punt on fourth-and-short near midfield throughout the past couple of weeks. You'd think these inept teams would learn from Payton, but apparently not.
New England Patriots (5-2) - Previously: 1.
I discuss the Chiefs' perspective below of New England moving down to No. 2, but for the Patriots, Sony Michel is going to be out for a while, while Rob Gronkowski is now missing games. Gronkowski's impact is obvious, while Michel gave the Patriots a dynamic running threat out of the backfield, which they will miss in unfavorable weather conditions late in the year.
Kansas City Chiefs (6-1) - Previously: 2.
I'm up for moving the Chiefs over the Patriots in the wake of their absolute domination over the Bengals. Obviously, Kansas City just lost at New England, but I don't think the Patriots would win in Arrowhead. On a neutral field? It's close, but if the Chiefs have Justin Houston, who was out for the New England game, I think they probably prevail, especially after Mahomes saw Bill Belichick's schemes.
Speaking of Mahomes, I think he has quite a fan in Cris Collinsworth: