So here we are in the friggin 17th inning and still deadlocked at one all. I have the Indians at +1.5 RL and all I can think is Murphy going to get me again in this situation, I lost by two runs with the Rangers two days ago UP 7 to 3 going to the bottom of the ninth and losing with TX +1.5 RL!! We will see.
Walt's 2010 NBA Mock Draft: June 24, 2010 at 4:15 ET (Third Edition). Picks 16-30.
Minnesota T-Wolves: James Anderson, SG, Oklahoma State, 6-6, Jr.
I love it how Minnesota is trying its hardest to accumulate as many picks as possible in the 2010 NBA Draft. Leave it to them to have a stronghold in the worst NBA Draft class in 20 years.
Actually, let's make that 19 years. Check out the top 10 picks of the putrid 1991 NBA Draft class: Larry Johnson (bust as a No. 1 pick; back injuries ruined his career), Kenny Anderson (bust as a No. 2 pick), Billy Owens, Dikembe Mutombo (the only non-bust), Steve Smith, Doug Smith, Luc Longley (Longley was a No. 7 pick? WTF?), Marc "can I get paid in bacon?" Macon, Stacey Augmon and Brian Williams. Good luck, T-Wolves!
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (XAVIER HENRY):
The newest player in Minnesota's Mid-Coast offense. By the way, I was thinking about going down to the Mid Coast for a vacation, so I typed in "Mid Coast" into Mapquest, and Mapquest laughed at me. I'll go out on a limb and say that Jonny Flynn will not be a travel agent once his NBA career is over.
Chicago Bulls: Larry Sanders, Larry Sanders, PF, VCU, 6-10, Jr.
According to ESPN, the Bulls will be sending this pick and Kirk Hinrich to the Washington Bullets. The deal can't be finalized until July 8 for some stupid reason, so Chicago will probably be picking for Washington here. With John Wall, Gilbert Arenas and Heinrich on the roster, the Bullets (not Wizards) have to go big, right?
I can't believe I just wrote a logical paragraph about the NBA Draft. Believe me, I'm more shocked than you are.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (DONNY MOTIEJUNAS):
Who is the Donatas Motiejunas person? I have no idea. If I had a say, I'd ban all foreign players from the NBA Draft. Now, let me be clear - I'm not saying I don't want foreign players in the NBA. I just don't want foreign players in the NBA Draft. If you're from another country, you should be forced to play for an NCAA team for at least one year before you can enter the league.
Why, you ask? Because American fans can't get into the NBA Draft because we've never seen these foreigners play. I'm not sure this Donatas Motiejunas fellow is a real basketball player or a villain from 24.
Oklahoma City Thunder: Eric Bledsoe, PG, Kentucky, 6-1, Fr.
Every smart NBA Draft analyst I know says Eric Bledsoe is going to be awesome, which is why he'll probably fall into the second half of the first round of the 2010 NBA Draft. Intelligent NFL Draft analysts loved Aaron Rodgers, Michael Oher, Brian Orakpo, etc. and they fell, so it's nice to know the NBA Draft and the NFL Draft have something in common - stupid teams usually make stupid picks.
By the way, the Thunder just acquired this pick in a swap with Miami. They are rumored to be shopping Eric Maynor, so Eric Bledsoe is an option as a much-needed backup point guard if Maynor is shipped off.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (DANIEL ORTON):
We're more than halfway through my 2010 NBA Mock Draft, and you're probably wondering, "How much does this Walt guy know about the NBA Draft anyway?" I can answer that: Not much. I got more picks right than everyone in the Philadelphia Daily News last year, but that was all luck because I had never even heard of half the players.
I did manage to say a few intelligent things in my 2009 NBA Mock Draft. For example:
Being a citizen of Philadelphia, I've had the misfortune of watching Samuel Dalembert suck on the court since 2001. He averaged 6.4 points per game this season. It's amazing what $11 million a year will buy you these days.
Being a college hoops fan, I've watched Hasheem Thabeet for three years. I'm not an NBA Draft expert or anything, but Thabeet to me looks like a 7-foot-2 version of Dalembert. Think about it - they're both defensive specialists with absolutely no offensive game. They both have the same frame and are not agile at all. They are both from the Big East. The only difference between the two is four inches and Dalembert's French accent.
Sacre bleu, I was right! The Grizzlies paid Thabeet $4.5 million this year, which turned out to be $21,436.73 per point. Dalembert, by the way, was worth $17,031.48 per point. Great job with that contract, Billy King.
Boston Celtics: Avery Bradley, G, Texas, 6-2, Fr.
I love it how a European like Donny Motiejunas has the smarts to stay away from the NBA for a year, yet someone like Avery Bradley, who isn't anywhere near ready for the NBA, declared two seasons too early. I may look smart if I compare Motiejunas to Albert Einstein - just as long as they're two different races, of course.
At any rate, if the Celtics don't have to try hard until the playoffs, I don't have to try hard until the very end of this analysis capsule. So I'll just bide my time until then. ......... ..... . .... .... .. eruergjkrkgjerigeergvernle (sorry I spazzed out trying to fill in all my analysis into the final word).
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (ERIC BLEDSOE):
OK, time for some real NBA Draft analysis so I can defend this pick, since it's an odd one. What's Boston going to do with a point guard when it already has Rajon Rondo? I'm glad you asked. Following this season, Rondo will be the only Celtic point guard on the books. There is also precedent for a pick like this. Last year, Utah spent the No. 20 pick on point guard Eric Maynor despite having Deron Williams. So there. Some real NBA Draft analysis. Now, back to the nonsense...
San Antonio Spurs: Damion James, SF, Texas, 6-8, Sr.
David Kay hasn't changed this pick in his 2010 NBA Mock Draft and neither will I. It just makes too much sense, and the Spurs are one of the few teams that always makes intelligent moves.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (DAMION JAMES):
Intelligent 2009 NBA Mock Draft Item No. 2:
I like Tyreke Evans. He's a great talent and can play either guard position. Best of all, John Calipari didn't even have to take the SATs for him. Zing!
It's amazing that Calipari is going to bolt out of Kentucky after one season. And by amazing, I mean completely predictable. The only thing Wildcat fans were saying last year was that Calipari was their savior, and that he was never going to leave. Right. Give him enough cash, and he'd coach the Morocco Tacos or some obscure team like that.
Oklahoma City Thunder: Solomon Alabi, C, Florida St, 7-1, So.
Only 10 picks to go, so let's bring in Emmitt for some more wonderful analysis:
"Alabi a good pick for the San Andonius Thunders. It is always good to have Alabi. If someone get into trouble on the team or if someone have stolened something, then all you have to say is, 'I have Alabi' and then the policeman see you have Alabi, and you have a million 'Get Outta Jail For Free' card like in the game Shoot and Ladders!"
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (PAUL GEORGE):
Unfortunately, those two things were the only intelligent items I could come up with. I also said a few stupid things like:
Like I said, I'm not an NBA Draft expert by any means, but I will say this - if there were five rounds in the NBA Draft, I would not take James Harden with the last pick in the fifth round.
Harden embarrassed himself in the NCAA Tournament. In two games against Temple and Syracuse, Harden was a combined 3-of-18 from the field. He scored 19 points and grabbed 13 rebounds, but committed six turnovers.
Harden averaged 9.9 points per game during the regular season, but went 18-5-3 in one of the playoff contests against the Lakers. So much for my "fifth-round prospect."
Where was the guy who choked like a dog and ruined thousands of brackets across the nation? Why didn't Harden vomit on the court in one of the Laker games? This NBA Draft thing is difficult to predict.
Portland Trail Blazers: Kevin Seraphin, PF, France, 6-10, 1989
This comparing white players to black players and vice versa thing is pretty tiring. So, I'm just going to go back to being a closed-minded ignorant American. Kevin Seraphin is the next Tony Parker. Why? Because they're both French, duh.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (PATRICK PATTERSON):
I'd like to interrupt this self-deprecation to give you some analysis from a special guest. Take it away, Emmitt!
I am very confuse right now. Patrick Patterson is enter the mark draft here, but Patrick Peterson enter the 2011 NFL mark draft next year. How can an individuality enter two mark drafts in two different sport? And do Patrick Patterson and Patrick Peterson have relation? Every single alphabet in their name are the same except for two alphabet. My calculation say that these two player are second-degree cousins or maybe one-quarter brother and sister. Nobody have any idea!
Minnesota T-Wolves: Daniel Orton, F/C, Kentucky, 6-10, Fr.
Daniel Orton reportedly is in a free fall because everyone is starting to realize that he sucks. Everyone, except for Minnesota that is. Their general manager will probably be shocked that such an awesome player is still available.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (LARRY SANDERS):
Stupid 2009 NBA Draft Item No. 2:
I'd take Tyler Hansbrough with the top pick in the 2009 NBA Draft. Everyone thinks he's going to bust because he's relatively small for his position, he's slow and he's white.
I'd contest that if Hansbrough were any race other than white, including Malaysian, Egyptian or Sri Lankan, he would be described as: tough, gritty and crafty, though a bit undersized. But because he's white, he carries this stigma that he's going to suck.
Well, I have a dream... that one day... slow, small white centers will not be seen as crappy prospects despite their high bust rate. One day this dream will come true, and when it does, you'll remember where you heard it first.
Hansbrough averaged 8.5 ppg and 4.8 rpg, so he didn't play poorly or anything. But he was on the court for only 29 contests because of an enigmatic ear injury. So much for "tough and gritty." Wahhhhh my ear hurts I can't play, wahhhhh!
Atlanta Hawks: Hassan Whiteside, C, Marshall, 7-0, Fr.
David Kay, who unlike myself actually compiled a great 2010 NBA Mock Draft packed with awesome analysis, wrote that Hassan Whiteside's maturity has him in a free fall right now. I can't say I'm surprised. Whiteside randomly e-mailed me (check the previous page for proof) and didn't even write anything in the e-mail. It was just blank. Seriously, who sends a random blank e-mail? If that's not a sign of immaturity, I don't know what is.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (JORDAN CRAWFORD):
OMG OMG OMG OMG ZOMG its teh guy who dunkd ovar Lebron ZOMG.
Good God, what has happened to our society?
Memphis Grizzlies: Craig Brackins, PF, Iowa State, 6-10, Jr.
I'm pretty tired because my dogs woke me up early. I'm so cracked out that I saw "Craig Brackins, PF, Iowa State, 6-0" instead of 6-10, and thought, "Wow, 6-0 is kinda small for a power forward. If he's this small and still considered a first-round prospect as a power forward, he's gotta be pretty awesome."
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (KEVIN SERAPHIN):
This is why the NBA Draft sucks compared to the NFL Draft. Can you imagine if your favorite NFL team was projected to take someone like Patrick Peterson or Mark Ingram, and instead selected some weird French dude no one has ever heard of and then stashed him overseas for four years? You'd be pretty pissed off, right? This is exactly why these foreigners should have to play college hoops for at least one year. If people are familiar with all of the talent, the NBA would be able to attract a larger audience for this mid-summer event.
Oklahoma City Thunder: Jordan Crawford, SG, Xavier, 6-4, Soph.
I forget what I was watching Tuesday night, but during a commercial break, I flipped on to Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? This woman, who for some reason was in a wedding gown, was asked the following question: "True or False: You see lightning before you hear thunder."
She said false. I'm not joking. Seriously, where do they find these idiots? I'm suddenly not proud to be an ignorant, xenophobic American.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (SOLOMON ALABI):
Here's another thing about the NBA Draft: David Stern needs to cut down on these 7-foot bums who declare early every year. Stern should give incentives to teams that don't select crappy big men with absolutely no offensive game. Something like that needs to happen. Could you imagine if NFL teams picked quarterbacks who didn't know how to throw the ball forward? Every single NFL squad would become the Browns!
New Jersey Nets: Dominique Jones, G, South Florida, 6-5, Jr.
"If I do not receive all pick in NBA Draft and LeBron Jame and Dvayne Vade in 36 hour, I vill make destruction on your soil and throw atomic bomb into NBA headqvarter. All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time. Do you like? I like."
I'm having too much fun with this.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (QUINCY PONDEXTER):
The NBA also needs some more Russian owners like New Jersey's Russian Owner (if you haven't noticed, I'm too lazy to look up his name). Russian Owner should just buy every single pick in the 2010 NBA Draft with the following proclamation: "All NBA team, give me your pick now. If you do not give me your pick, I vill crush you all like tissue paper. I'm owner from Soviet Union. I own team all my life and I never lose. Soon, my team play all your team, and the world will see your defeat. Soon, the whole world will know my name."
I guess that includes me.
Memphis Grizzlies: Devin Ebanks, SF, West Virginia, 6-9, So.
Why does it seem like every time I'm paying attention, I'm writing analysis for either Minnesota or Memphis? No wonder these teams always suck - their plan is to make crappy picks in the crappiest NBA Draft since 1991.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (TERRICO WHITE):
Jesus Christ, it seems like every time I pay attention to which team is picking, it's Memphis. I don't know what they did to obtain all of these selections, but Russian Owner will mimic those plans if he can't forcefully take every single draft pick.
Orlando Magic: Elliot Williams, G, Memphis, 6-4, So.
I started writing this 2010 NBA Mock Draft around 1 p.m. It's now 5:57. Compared to me, those two guys playing in that long tennis match know absolutely nothing about endurance.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (CRAIG BRACKINS):
The Magic cost me $550 the first two games of their series against the Celtics. I'd like to give you some insightful analysis about this pick, but I need to find a cardboard box to sleep in tonight.
Washington Bullets: Lance Stephenson, SG, Cincinnati, 6-6, Fr.
I really love how the Jazz and Warriors have decided to go old school with their logos. Meanwhile, the Wizards are still the Wizards. They need to go back to the Bullets. I don't care if five billion people are shot in Washington D.C. over the next few days. The Bullets are awesome. The Wizards are losers. That is all.
Well, one more thing. During the 2010 NBA Draft, make sure you check out our Live 2010 NBA Draft Grades that will be updated minutes after each pick. Also, I'll be running my annual Live NBA Draft Blog, so check that out during the 2010 NBA Draft for more nonsensical and ignorant thoughts.
MAY 23 ANALYSIS (WILLIE WARREN):
As Emmitt would say, "We have come full circles." The Washington Gunz own the first and last picks in the 2010 NBA Draft. And they say the lottery isn't rigged.
One last suggestion for David Stern. I wrote this last year, but maybe someone in the NBA offices will actually read it this time:
The NBA Draft is way too early. The NBA Finals just finished. The refs haven't even cashed in the bets they placed yet, and we're supposed to gear up for the NBA Draft?
Stern needs to recognize his target audience. Most NFL and NBA Draft fans are drunk college students. Having the NBA Draft in late June pretty much nullifies that demographic because college students are seldom on their computer during the summer.
Moving the NBA Draft to late August or early September (on a non-drinking night) would vastly increase the core 18-24 viewership. Instead of working or going on vacation, college males would be tuning into the NBA Draft and neglecting their education.
The NFL has successfully pulled this off. Time for Stern to follow suit and prevent college kids from studying or doing homework.