Real 2020 NFL Mock Draft
Cincinnati Bengals: Joe Barrel, QB, LSU
The Bengal must begin once again at square zero. He have Andy Walton for a long time playing quarterback, but he play a long time and that is a very long time to play football for a long time. He need to be replace, so that what the Bengal doing with this picks.
Joe Barrel look real good in the national championship football game of championships. He make throw look real easy, like he shooting a barrel in a fish. This a common saying which mean it real easy because it real easy to shoot a barrel in a fish because the fish do not have gun because gun are unlegal in the ocean.
Washington Redskins: Chase Young, DE/OLB, Ohio State
With all apology to Joe Barrel, Chase Young the best player in the of 2020 draft class. Chase Young a great player in Ohio, and now he going to move out of that city and becomed a great player on the NFL, the National League of Football.
Chase Young real approrpiatenessly name, almost as if his parent are both physics. Chase the right name for Chase Young because he chase quarterback down for sack, and Young right last name for him because he real young right now. I do not know what going to happen when Chase Young get old, but he probably gonna have to change his name to Chase Old if he want his parent to continue to be known for being real good at physics.
Detroit Lions: Tuna Tagovagalogi, QB, Alabama
Tuna Tagovagalogi suffer big injurness last week when he play and broke his hip bone. Some people who talk on TV say that he may never gonna play football again which remind me of my former team meat and friend Michael Irving. He broke his head bone when he land on his head when we play the Eagle and that would explain why he say stupid thing all the time.
But now that we in back to the future, and we have better doctor technologic, it sound like Tuna Tagovagalogi gonna be OK. The hip bone can be replace anyhow even though it connected to the neck bone. I hear this in a song so don't missedsteak me for going to doctor school. I never go to doctor school, just Florida school.
New York Giants: Jerry Judy, Alabama
Alabama have a lot of good receiver lately and Jerry Judy the lateliest one who comed to the National League of Football from the city of Alabama. Some of the guy who comed from Alabama are Julio Johnson, and, uhh, other guys.
Jerry Judy have two first name in his name which real interesting. Jerry remind me of the cartoon, Jerry and Tom, where the mouse and cat are best friend. And then there Judy, which remind me of the daughter on the show Family Manners who disappear one day probably because she die a horrible demise but no one try to speak this except Lionel Ritchie, but he just a little kid and no body listen to him.
Miami Dolphins: Tulip Tagovagalogi, QB, Alabama
When somebody tolded me that Tuna Tagovagalogi have a brother I real surprise. This remind me when someone tolded me that Michelle from Full House of Card actually three girl name Mary, Kate and Ashley Orton but they somehow transform into one girl when she act on TV. So I guess the same thing happen for Tuna Tagovagalogi and his brother Tulip Tagovagalogi. They form into one person when he play football so that mean Tulip Tagovagalogi also broke his hip bone.
I almost forgottened to mention that Tuna Tagovagalogi remind me of Bill Parcells because people call him Tuna. This because Bill Parcells really a tuna who go to a wizard and ask to be transform into human. I do not knowed if this real true for factual, but this is what somebody tolded me so I have no choose to believe it.
Los Angeles Chargers: Herbert Johnson, QB, Oregon
I read in the papernews that Philip Rivers move his family from the city of Californius to the city of Florida. They say he do this permanentously. This mean that if he play football again for the Charger, he gonna have to drive car from Florida to Californius. This maybe take like three hour or four day, I am not sure which one correct, but I do know that this probably mean he gonna sign with one of the five team that locationed in the city of Florida. We has the Tampa Bay Buccaneer, the Miami Dolphin, the Miami Hurricane, the Gata and the Orlando Wolf.
If Philip River finally gonna make a tree and bark, that mean the Charger are gonna have to draft a new quarterback. Herbert Johnson do real good at the Senior Bowl, which is a bowl game where senior citizen play football against other guy, and Herbert Johnson make lot of touchdown on this game, so he probably gonna be a great quarterback.
Carolina Panthers: Andrew Thomas, OT, Georgia
Cam Norton always getting injury so the Panther need to give him some help on the offense line. The best offense lineman, the cream of the wheat in this draft, by my messtimation Andrew Thomas, who share the name of the former prexident who happen to be on the $25 bill. He also one of the face on the Mountain of Guy Faces who all former president. The four guy on the Mount of Guy Faces is Andrew Thomas, Tedafloor Roosevelt, Benjamin Einstein and Abaham Johnson.
Arizona Cardinals: Andrew Thomas, OT, Georgia
I do a study of the offense line in this draft class because when you in class, you need to study or you gonna get a number F on the pop tart. And if you get a lot of number F, they not gonna let you play football anymore unless your coach talk to the teacher and tell hims that he gonna be fire if he do not let the football player play football.
Andrew Thomas probably the number second best offensive line in the draft. I forgetted who the best guy is so I guess I gonna fail the pop tart after all.
Jacksonville Jaguars: Grant Armpit, S, LSU
Grant Armpit was a great member of the LSU defense that help win the Super Bowl for the LSU Lion. Joe Barrel do a good job while he throw ball, but do not forget what the defense do to Taylor Lawrence, the girl guy who play quarterback for the Clemson Lion.
Grant Armpit was the greatest player on the LSU defense. Not only was he great at defense, he was also good at defense. His name also armpit which mean stinky if you does not baby shower for five month. He probably not baby shower for a long time and then shove armpit in other guy face and maybe that why Taylor Lawrence play not good because he girl guy and girl guy do not usual like armpit.
Cleveland Browns: Taylor Lawrence, QB, LSU
Speak of Taylor Lawrence, he make logical for the Brown, who need a quarterback. Maker Bayfield prove to be not good quarterback when he got his coach fire last year. His coach name Fredrick Kitchen which always make me hungry when I hear the name. Kitchen usually the room where you has the food and eat the food, which why I usually get hungry when I hear him's name because kitchen has the food and Kitchen name after kitchen, probably because he fat guy.
Taylor Lawrence play horrible in Super Bowl. But he still play better than Maker Bayfield so he probably give the best chance for the Brown to save Fredrick Kitchen job. Kitchen got fire but maybe the Brown gonna bring him back if Brown hungry because they gonna knowed they has a better quarterback who can saved his job and keep Kitchen very important because if you do not has the kitchen, you do not has the food. And if you do not has the food you gonna strive to death.
New York Jets: Tristan Waffle, OT, Iowa
I consider give the Jet a quartraback like I do the Brown and lot of other team all ready. The Jet losted their quaterback last year when Sam Donald die of molocluenoionis. I speak to doctor and he tolded me his horrible disease you get when you kiss girl. After I heard these I stop kiss my wife Dianna Marie Russini and stop kiss my sister Emma Smith III because I do not want die of morondolculonoli.
I stop consider gived the Jet a quarberback because what happen if he kiss another women. Then he gonna die again! First the Jet need some protectioning. Tristan Waffle a good tackle so not only he gonna protract the next quartberback on the field he also gonna block girl fromed kiss him.
Las Vegan Raiders: Henry Rug, WR, Alabama
If you do not hear, the Raider move from Oakland to the city of Las Vegan, which nickname Sim City because there are a lot of sim in the city. I do not know who or what a sim does or has but he sound like a good guy because he welcoming the Raider with open hands.
Moving a team sound like real hard work. I do not knowed how the Raider gonna drive his stadium to another city but he somehow gonna have to get the job done. He also gonna have to paint the floor and put rug on the wall, which why Henry Rug real interesting for the Raider. Not only he gonna catch ball from David Carr, he also gonna be able to build some rug on the wall all over the place so the Raider feel like home in Las Vegan.
Indianapolis Colts: Jadavius Kinlaw, DT, South Carolina
The Colt need to add to the defensive to replace Andrew Lock. Andrew Lock really surprise me when he retiremented before the start of the 2020 season. He not even appear on TV or the coach! Where he go? Someone tolded me that Andrew Lock was architecture in Stanford State University, so perhaps he become architecture again now for the first time.
The defensive the Colt need to add is Javon Kinlaw. I really like Kinlaw. Becuase that remind me what happen to myselves recently. My cousin Jesper Smith LVI Sr. become the police chief in my town and he my kin, so if you combine the two you get Lawkin, which exactly why I really like Jadavius Lawkin.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Tua Johnson, QB, Alabama
My condolensmes to James Wilkins the quarterback for the Buccaneer who have lipstick surgery on his eyeball recently. This mean that Wilkins probably gonna see red whenever he look anywhere because the color of lipstick happen to be red unless it happen to be pink so maybe Wilkins gonna see pink too as well.
I show my friend and former quarterback Troy Aikins my mock draft so far and he ask, "Where Tua, the quarterback from Alabama?" I slap myselves upside the knucklehead because I seemed to forgetted Tua so here he is. I forgetted what his last name is but it probably Johnson because a lot of people have a last name called Johnson.
Denver Broncos: Jalen Harms, QB, Alabama
There seem to be a lot of quarterback who play for the Alabama football team. Nick Satan doing a real good job of signing quarterback to big contract and making sure he all play at the same time. This why Nick Satan the best college football coach in the NFL!
The Bronco probably gonna like Jalen Harms. He real good player and the Bronco need a quarterback because Jim Elway retire last week or so.
Atlanta Falcons: Keylock Chaisson, DE, LSU
The key to any team the defense, and when you has a key, you also has a lock. And when you put the lock into the key, the key open up and then you can go through the door unlessed you has the wrong lock and cannot open the key because then you can not go the door with the uncorrect key on it.
Forgiveness myselves, I seem to have confusion myselves. Maybe the Buccaneer confusion as well and if so, maybe he gonna draft the Keylock guy from LSU because guy from LSU happen to play real good at football.
Go to Emmitt Smith's 2020 NFL Mock Draft: Picks 17-32
Sorry for cutting this into two halves; I've received complaints about load times and putting the mock draft on two pages saves bandwidth.
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