Real 2021 NFL Mock Draft
Jacksonville Jaguars: Johnny Lawrence, QB, Clemson
When I sit down and begin my mark draft, I need to do read search on who to put on the first pick. Everybody say Johnny Lawrence gonna be the first pick, and after watching him, I could not agree more with everybody, even if I wanted to. Johnny Lawrence the guy who the karate sensing on Cobra Kid. He the swore enemy of Danielson. Four guy try to beat him up, but he kick the five guy butt instead. If he can kick six butt on the football field on the same time, this mean that his teammate only have to worry about 10 player, because if you has 11 player on the football field, 11 minus five equal 10. Please accuse me if I am wrong because I happen to misplace my calculationor. I am not off to a good finish in my mark draft but I hopefully I get bestor.
New York Jets: Justin Field, QB, Ohio State
Justin Field really impress me in the national championship before he got injury. He play really well for Clemson and then Ohio and then injury. Justin Field have a lotta injury, so he must go back to square zero and get a new doctor. Maybe now that he gonna be rich, he gonna hire Dr. Forcefield to be his doctor. He the one always on TV talking about the Coramora Virus. Neverthelessen, Justin Field remind me of Strawberry Field, who a song from the Beagles, a rock and rolled band from the 1860s. The lyric of the song go, "Strawberry Field for never." It are ones of my favorite song. I listen to it all the time when I wear my walkmen.
San Francisco 49ers: Chuba Bubba, RB, Oklahoma State
The 49ers have a great quarterback name Jimmy Geronimo, although he miss a couple of game last year. The 49ers must build around Jimmy Geronimo, and that must mean drafting a new running back. The only running back the 49er have on their death chart right now name Raheem Mustard, which remind me of Kernel Mustard in the game Clue. Kernel Mustard the guy who kill Miss Black in the study with the conservatory. I solve this murder the last time I play with my family, and my bastard son, Emmitt Snow Jr., telled me I am wrong, but he the one who wrong, so I flip the board and the tile piece go everywhere and I make him clean it up because he say I am bad at play bored game!
Atlanta Falcons: Zach Wilkins, QB, BYU
The Falcon have a quarterback name Meg Ryan who really long in the mouth. He been in the National Leagues of Footballs for five decade, which like 15 year. He like a tree where you can cut him open and see how many ring inside and count how many Ring Pop on the tree to tell how many month he beened a tree. In other word, Meg Ryan real old because so many ring, so he need to be replace. Zach Wilkins a good quarterback from BYU, which stand for Brighamyoung Young University College. He play so good that he make me learn what BMW stand for!
Cincinnati Bengals: Kyle Pitts, QB, Florida
The Bengal draft Joe Barrel last year, and he turn out to be a terrible player. He losted all the game at the end of the year, and the Bengal even bench him, which mean he sat on the bench instead of play. This not a good look for a rookie quarterback, so the Bengal gotta make remands for this mistake and draft another quarterback to lead the football team. Maybe Kyle Pitts that guy. He went to my almond mater, Florida Gator, and he a real great prospect. In fact, I all most putted him to the Jaguar except people tolded me to putted Johnny Lawrence to the Jaguar. But I would like to make a bald prediction: Kyle Pitts gonna be a better quarterback on the National League of Footballs than Johnny Lawrence. I know this unpopulous opinion, but I like to go against the grape.
Miami Dolphins: Penes Swell, OT, Oregon
I must tell you a personnel story of mine's. When I comed home early irrexpectedly, I go upstair and walk into Emmitt Snow Jr.'s room. I expect him to be study or do homework, but I catch him on computer looking at pornosexual. From the glimpse I see on his computer screen, I see a penes swell. Emmitt Snow Jr., I sorry if I embarrassmenting you but this prospect who name also Penes Swell remind me of the time I catched you looking at pornosexual. Look at pornosexual nothing to be embarrassmented about.
Detroit Lions: Zach Wilson, QB, BYU
I get the sense of deja view sometime, and this another time this happen because I thought I already talk about Zach Wilson but I look and I does not seem him's name earlier in my mark draft. So maybe this not deja view, but maybe I just a fortunate teller and can seen the passed, which exactly like the future but opposite. Irregardless, the Lion need to replace Matthew Stanford who got traded from the Ram. Zach Wilson got criticize recently because his father and uncle, who probably the same guy, the CSI of JetBlue, which a company. I does not know what JetBlue do, but if I was to guess, it have the word Jet inside, so maybe he own the New York Jet. If this the case, this gonna create a confict of interesting because what gonna happen if the Lion ever gonna have to play the Jet? Who he gonna try to help winned the game!? One team gonna winned, and the other team gonna called him a trader!
Carolina Panthers: Trey Pants, QB, North Dakota State
Teddy Waterbridge have a great career, but it seem to be coming to a close. He wonned MVP award and even took the Panther to a Super Bowl, but his offense, they got debacled by the Bronco. Now, Teddy Waterbridge a smell of his former selves. He so pathetic that young kid yelling at him during a football camp. Once young kid start criticizement you, it is time to go riding off into the sunrise. The Panther himselfs probably recognize this, so he probably gonna draft Trey Pants, whom play for the state of North Dakota, but not South Dakota, East Dakota or West Dakota.
Denver Broncos: Micah Persons, LB, Penn State
I try to give the Bronco a quarterback because he need them, but there no more quarterback to gived, so what am I suppose to do? I am not a miraculous worker. If the Bronco forgo a quarterback, he probably gonna draft a linebacker because a linebacker real important to the offense. Some people say that a linebacker like the quarterback of the defense, which mean he throw ball and throw touchdown, except linebacker do not do that. The best linebacker in the college draft this year Micah Persons, who go to Penn State, and Penn a Ivy League School, which mean you can take class on how to grow ivy in your backyard.
Dallas Cowboys: Newman Oldman, QB, Wake Forest
The Cowboy have a difficult choose to make. He can give a lot of money to Alexekiel Elliott, or he can give a lot of money to Dank Prescott. This is what you would call a toss down, or a coin flop. Whenever somebody flop a coin, you call either head or backside. I always call backside, and people laugh. I think this because you has a better chanced of getting head, but like I say before, I like to go against the grape. So, I belief the Cowboy gonna give Dank Prescott lot of money, so a quarterback the obvious solution. Newman Newman probably have the same first name and last name, so there a lot of confuse. If he have different name, I guarantee he would be draft to the Jaguars with the first pick in the draft. That is just a bald predict of mine.
New York Giants: Travis Eighteenmen, RB, Clemson
Charles Barkley always was injury, and it seem as though the apple do not fall far from the orange. His son, Sidekick Barkley, always injury when he beened the running back of the New York Giantmen. Keep in mind he not always injury, but ever since he camed to the city of New York, he become very injury. My suggestion are he need to start running up a hill every day. I ran up hill every day and I never injury. The hill like a mountain, but the differents between the hill and the mountain is that the hill have green grass, and the mountain have gray grass, or what the scientist call, rock. I would not suggest running up a mountain because if you have gray shoe you can mistaked the gray grass for the gray shoe, and you could trip and fall and get debacled.
Philadelphia Eagles: Mack Johnson, QB, Alabama
The Eagle make a great trade when he trade Carmen Wentz to the Colt. They getted three first-round pick and Christianity McCaffrey from the Colt, so the Eagle real set up for the future. He already have a great quarterback in Jalen Harms, but he need another quarterback to go with Jalen Harms, so maybe the Eagle gonna draft another great quarterback from Alabama, Mack Johnson. Mack Johnson win the Super Bowl in college for Alabama State, so he gonna help Jalen Harms win the Super Bowl in the National Leagues of Football.
Los Angeles Chargers: Kelly Mond, QB, Texas AT&T
Johnson Herbert have a great rookie year, but maybe the Charger think he can do better at quarterback. Johnson Herbert do good, but he do not lead the Charger to the doggone playoff, and if you do not reach the doggone playoff, then that mean you does not reach the doggone playoff, which mean you failure at last season. The Charger fail so often, he need to draft a quarterback so maybe he going to go after the first women quarterback to play in the League of National Football. There was a lot of excitingment when the first women kicker do a great kick for Vanderbus University, and now there are going to be great women quarterback. But she better make the doggone playoff, or the Charger gonna go after another quarterback next year or maybe trade for Johnson Herbert after they trade him away this onseason!
Minnesota Vikings: Rashawn Slater, OT, Southwestern
ESPS hire a guy name Matt Millen who a great draft analaysist. He say Rashawn Slater have a great 2020 season. I watch every Southwestern game in prepare for my mark draft, but I do not seened Slater for one single snap, and not even a double snap neither. This mean one thing: Rajon Slater have invincibility! Maybe he should be the top pick and not Johnny Lawrence. A guy who invincible have a hugemongous advantageness on the football field because no one can seened him, and if no one can seened him, he gonna score a lot of touchdown because how can anyone on the offense tackle him!?
New England Patriots: Jaycee Horn, WR, South Carolina
I very excitement when I see that Jaycee Horn part of the player who enter the draft. I use to play the same time Jaycee Horn father, Joe Horn, play in the League Football of Nationals. I not sure if Joe Horn play with me on the Cowboy or not, but I remember he being a good player. He probably play with me one year, but if you really want to know, you can open up your Wikipedia book and look at the history. But the fact remain that the fruit of Joe Horn loom, Jaycee Horn, seem like the next great receiver. He probably the best receiver who come out from college in the past five decade. The Patriot do not has any receiver except Kneel Harry.
Arizona Cardinals: Patrick Surtain II, WR, Alabama
Another guy who play who play football the same time as me was Patrick Surtain. Patrick Surtain II remind me of Patrick Surtain except he have the alphabet I after his name two time. I open the Wikipedia book and it say the two are not relationed, but Patrick Surtain II probably would be the father of Patrick Surtain if he have the alphabet JJ or XX after him's name because those two are the most common double letter which mean two men are relationed. Maybe the Cardinal can take a blood quiz to make sure they not relationed, and if they does not relationed, maybe the Cardinal gonna pick Patrick Surtain XX to replacement DeAndre Hoskins. He best not be XXX though, because that remind me of the pornographigy Emmitt Snow Jr. watch when I not home.
Go to Emmitt Smith's 2021 NFL Mock Draft: Picks 17-32
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