Emmitt on the Brink - Season 3: Week 10
Emmitt on the Brink.
The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith. Two years later, the Patriots are coming off the first 19-0 season in NFL history.
This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter's perspective and follow the 2015 New England Patriots as they traverse the 2015 NFL season under Emmitt's guidance. This page will be updated every Saturday during the real 2010 NFL season.
Of course, you can always look at all of Emmitt's quotes in the Emmitt Smith Anthology.
Emmitt Smith name head coach of the New Zealand Patriots on 2015!
PATRIOTS QUARTERBACK TO MAKE CAMEO APPEARANCE
By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Friday, Nov. 13, 2015
When you're undefeated, everyone wants a piece of the pie. That has certainly been the case for the Patriots, as several members of the organization have guest starred on Celebrity Jeopardy, Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and Eating Cereal with the Stars in recent years.
During this year's bye week, quarterback Anthony Morelli will make a cameo appearance on Tim Tebow's new television show.
"Haha, eh yo, they say I gonna be on TV, eh yo," Morelli said. "TV! People gonna see me on TV haha, eh yo... huh?"
We're not sure why Morelli is so thrilled about this; after all, his Patriots are on TV every single week in the fall.
Morelli will play himself in the show's pilot episode. Tebow, who has been secretive about his new program, finally addressed the media about it on Thursday.
"Someone recently introduced me to Entourage, a show that used to air on HBO," Tebow said. "I didn't like this show. There were too many bad things about it. So, I've decided to swap out the 'T' for a 'C,' and make a show called Encourage - a show about four close friends who encourage each other."
Per Tebow, he will play the main character, Timmy Faith, a professional quarterback who is tempted by all the distractions around him, but is eventually able to overcome the adversity with the help of his friends.
Timmy Faith's brother will be Johnny Charisma, a former quarterback whose career was cut short due to injuries and ineptitude. Tebow did not specify if the Johnny Charisma character would be loosely based on Rex Grossman.
Timmy Faith's manager and best friend will be a short man named PeacE - with the final letter of that word capitalized for obvious reasons. PeacE, according to Tebow, will attract women who are way too hot for him.
Rounding out the quartet, Timmy Faith's friend Turtledove will provide comedic relief.
Other characters include Heart of Gold, Timmy Faith's agent, and Brandon Lloyd, Heart of Gold's straight secretary.
We're still not sure what role Morelli will provide - or if he'll even be sober - but we are confident that millions of Americans will be on the edge of their seats when Encourage debuts on Sunday night.
ENTOURAGE PRODUCERS INFURIATED BY TEBOW'S SHOW
By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Monday, Nov. 16, 2015
Entourage executive producer Mark Wahlberg was so infuriated by Tim Tebow's Encourage pilot episode that he called press conference at 11:30 on Sunday night.
"They f***ing ripped off my show, and Timmy Faith, I mean, Tim Tebow's gonna pay!" Wahlberg bellowed.
As journalists, we're expected to be unbiased. However, we have to agree with Wahlberg on this one - the pilot of Encourage seemed to just poke fun of Entourage, berating everything that was wrong with Wahlberg's old show.
If you missed it, consider the following scene in the Encourage pilot episode, Dreams:
Timmy Faith: Hey guys, it's a beautiful day out. I say we should do something really fun, like go bowling or see a play.
PeacE: That sounds like a really good idea, Timmy. But I want to share something first. I had a really naughty dream last night!
Turtledove: Me too!
Johnny Charisma: Me three!
Timmy Faith: OK guys, I want to hear about all of your dreams because sharing is caring. You first, PeacE.
PeacE: Well, you guys know how unbelievably beautiful women like to ask me out on dates, but they get upset when I tell them that I'm a virgin? Well, I dreamt that I had a girlfriend named Sloam, and she suggested that she, her friend and I hold each other's hands - at the same time!
Johnny Charisma: Oh my, that is horrible!
PeacE: I know, Johnny Charisma! I woke up in a sweat. I could never hold hands with more than one girl - and holding hands with one girl would take about 10 dates!
Turtledove: Well, my bad dream involved stealing Timmy Faith's money to start a business where beautiful girls drove cars around. Unfortunately, I lost all of Timmy Faith's money, so I had to start selling some Mexican's guy tequila, and then Mark Cuban became involved in the business for no apparent reason!
Timmy Faith: Ahhh!!! That is very bad! But I know you would never throw my money away, Turtledove.
Turtledove: I know, Timmy Faith. But I'm still sorry that I stole your money in my dream. It'll never happen ever again. I could never touch alcohol anyway. Alcohol is bad!
All: Yes it is!
Timmy Faith: Hold on, guys. I want to finish hearing your dreams, but I'm getting a call from Heart of Gold.
*** Timmy Faith answers his Zack Morris-style cell phone. ***
Timmy Faith: Hello?
Heart of Gold: Hi, Timmy Faith. Hold on one second. Brandon LLLLLOOOOOOOOYYYYYDDDD!
Brandon Lloyd: What is it, sir? I was just talking to my roommate Tom. We're just friends; nothing more. Being gay is bad!
Heart of Gold: Of course it is, now get on the line so we can wish Timmy Faith good luck on his game on Sunday!
Brandon Lloyd: Good luck, Timmy Faith! We love you! But not in a naughty way!
Timmy Faith: Thanks guys, I love you too! And not in a naughty way either!
*** Timmy Faith hangs up the phone. ***
Timmy Faith: So, Johnny Charisma, I'm dying to hear your dream.
Johnny Charisma: OK, baby bro. I dreamt that I was still able to play quarterback. I used you to get gigs with bad teams like the Buffalo Bills. I finally got a job with the Sacramento Jaguars, but Jack Del Rio tried to hold Turtledove's girlfriend's hand.
Turtledove: I don't want to hear this! I don't want to hear this!!!
Johnny Charisma: I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't let Del Rio keep holding that poor girl's hand. So, I did what any good person would do.
PeacE: You read him the bible?
Johnny Charisma: Close, bro. I converted him to Christianity. Once I did that, Del Rio agreed to never hold a girl's hand ever again.
*** Anthony Morelli is seen walking down the street with four girls by his side. ***
Timmy Faith: Hey look guys, it's Anthony Morelli, quarterback of the New England Patriots! Hi, Anthony, how are you today?
Anthony Morelli: Haha, uhh... huh? Eh yo, haha. I on TV? I on TV! Haha!
Timmy Faith: See, guys? This is exactly what happens when you drink alcohol. You become incoherent, and naughty girls follow you around everywhere.
Turtledove: Yeah! Alcohol is bad!
Random Girl No. 1: What do ya mean, alcohol is bad? Alcohol is good. Let's go get some drinks and have fun in my hotel room later! Woooooo!!!
PeacE: I have an idea, Timmy. Instead of doing what she said, let's all go to church!
Timmy Faith: That is the best idea I've heard all day! Let's go, guys!
Now you can see why Mark Whalberg was so angry.
Emmitt on the Brink Archive:
Emmitt on the Brink Home Page
Season 1, Week 1 - PATRIOTS WIN 84-0 ON SUNDAY; LOSE ON MONDAY - Sept. 12
Season 1, Week 2 - PATRIOTS WIN 11-4 AMID CONFUSION; VICK ARRESTED - Sept. 19
Season 1, Week 3 - PATRIOTS ESCAPE WITH 7-2 WIN; BENGALS FLEE STADIUM - Sept. 26
Season 1, Week 4 - PATRIOTS-LIONS GAME MOVED TO...? - Oct. 3
Season 1, Week 5 - EMMITT'S PLAN TO NEUTRALIZE CHIEFS, TEBOWS FAILS - Oct. 10
Season 1, Week 6 - EMMITT SUSPENDS TWO COACHES; DEVISES OWN GAMEPLAN - Oct. 17
Season 1, Week 7 - AL DAVIS FINDS PROOF OF SABOTAGE; FILES GRIEVANCE - Oct. 24
Season 1, Week 8 - PATRIOTS PREPARE FOR DECLINING DOLPHINS - Oct. 31
Season 1, Week 9 - STEROID SCANDAL HITS FOXBOROUGH - Nov. 7
Season 1, Week 10 - EMMITT TO APPEAR ON REALITY TV SHOW - Nov. 14
Season 1, Week 11 - MORELLI SUSPENSION PENDING; CBS' PORTER CRITICIZES GOODELL - Nov. 21
Season 1, Week 12 - MANGINI'S BIRTHDAY RUINED - Nov. 28
Season 1, Week 13 - CRENNEL EDGES REID IN CHARITY EVENT - Dec. 5
Season 1, Week 14 - MORE THAN 100 NFL PLAYERS TO BE SUSPENDED - Dec. 12
Season 1, Week 15 - COACH NEARLY MISSES INTERNATIONAL GAME - Dec. 19
Season 1, Week 16 - PATRIOTS FIGURE TO ROLL IN MIAMI - Dec. 26
Season 1, Week 17 - AFC PLAYOFF PREVIEW - Jan. 2
Season 1, Week 18 - PLAYOFF ROUND 1 RESULTS - Jan. 9
Season 1, Week 19 - PLAYOFF ROUND 2 RESULTS - Jan. 16
Season 1, Week 20 - PATRIOTS TO THE SUPER BOWL! - Jan. 23
Season 1, Week 21 - DID THE PATRIOTS WIN IT ALL WITH EMMITT? - Jan. 31
Season 2, Week 1 - PATRIOTS KICK OFF 2014 SEASON AGAINST THE JETS - Sept. 18
Season 2, Week 2 - JERRY JONES MAKES SURPRISING ANNOUNCEMENT AT HIS WEDDING - Sept. 25
Season 2, Week 3 - MICHAEL VICK SAVES THE DAY IN EAGLES LOSS - Oct. 2
Season 2, Week 4 - AL DAVIS UNLEASHES SECRET WEAPON AGAINST PATRIOTS - Oct. 9
Season 2, Week 5 - MAJOR CHANGES PREVALENT THROUGHOUT THE LEAGUE - Oct. 16
Season 2, Week 6 - PATRIOTS WIN ON A CULTURAL NIGHT IN MIAMI - Oct. 23
Season 2, Week 7 - DANIEL SNYDER HIRES NEW COACHES - Oct. 30
Season 2, Week 8 - SEVERAL PATRIOTS TO APPEAR ON GAME SHOWS - Nov. 6
Season 2, Week 9 - FAVRE RUINS PACKER PLANS AGAIN - Nov. 13
Season 2, Week 10 - PATRIOTS COULD BE IN TROUBLE AGAIN - Nov. 20
Season 2, Week 11 - PATRIOTS HIRE FORMER NO. 1 PICK, SPY - Nov. 27
Season 2, Week 12 - MANGINI'S BIRTHDAY PARTY RUINED AGAIN - Dec. 4
Season 2, Week 13 - THANKSGIVING GAME RECAPS - Dec. 11
Season 2, Week 14 - PATS, BILLS TRAVEL TO NORTH KOREA - Dec. 18
Season 2, Week 15 - PATRIOTS PRACTICE CANCELED; LAUGHING GAS RELEASED - Dec. 26
Season 2, Week 16 - PATRIOTS ONE WIN AWAY FROM PERFECTION - Jan. 2
Season 2, Week 17 - PERFECTION AGAIN - Jan. 9
Season 2, Week 18 - PLAYOFF ROUND 1 RESULTS - Jan. 16
Season 2, Week 19 - PLAYOFF ROUND 2 RESULTS - Jan. 23
Season 2, Week 20 - PATRIOTS ADVANCE TO SUPER BOWL; WILL FACE RAMS AGAIN - Jan. 30
Season 2, Week 21 - PATRIOTS CRUISE TO EASY SUPER BOWL VICTORY; BECOME FIRST TEAM TO GO 19-0 - Feb. 14
Season 3, Week 1 - PATRIOTS KICK OFF 2015 SEASON AGAINST THE DOLPHINS - Sept. 11
Season 3, Week 2 - PATRIOTS FACE AN EASY CHALLENGE AGAINST INJURED LIONS - Sept. 18
Season 3, Week 3 - PATRIOTS AWARDED WIN AS JETS STADIUM IS IN RUINS - Sept. 25
Season 3, Week 4 - PATRIOTS FACE COWBOYS' SECRET WEAPON - Oct. 2
Season 3, Week 5 - PATRIOTS LOSE VALUABLE MEMBER OF TEAM - Oct. 9
Season 3, Week 6 - PATRIOTS OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR IN HOT WATER AGAIN - Oct. 16
Season 3, Week 7 - GOODELL AIMS TO IMPROVE PLAYER SAFETY; LEAGUE ANGERED - Oct. 23
Season 3, Week 8 - EMMITT DISTRAUGHT AFTER WAR OF WORDS WITH DENVER COACH - Oct. 30
Season 3, Week 9 - MANGINI'S CELEBRATION RUINED; COACH TO MISS GAME - Nov. 6
Season 3, Week 10 - PATRIOTS QUARTERBACK TO MAKE CAMEO APPEARANCE ON ENCOURAGE - Nov. 13
Season 3, Week 11 - AL DAVIS' DARK MAGIC BACKFIRES; PATRIOTS NOW 10-0 - Nov. 20
Season 3, Week 12 - EMMITT RETURNS TO PATRIOTS AFTER INTERVIEW - Nov. 27
Season 3, Week 13 - FORMER QUARTERBACK HOLDS SYMPOSIUM - Dec. 4
Season 3, Week 14 - PATRIOTS DRAFT SON OF FORMER NFL QUARTERBACK - Dec. 11
Season 3, Week 15 - EAGLES RECEIVER LEADS ALL PLAYERS IN PRO BOWL VOTING - Dec. 18
Season 3, Week 16 - PATRIOTS-VIKINGS GAME TO BE MOVED - Dec. 25
Season 3, Week 17 - WEATHER RUINS PATRIOTS-JETS FINALE - Jan. 1
Season 3, Week 18 - PATRIOTS, RAIDERS AWAIT WINNERS OF WILD CARD ROUND - Jan. 8
Season 3, Week 19 - PATRIOTS-RAIDERS TO MEET IN AFC CHAMPIONSHIP THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR - Jan. 15
Season 3, Week 20 - OLD FOE RETURNS TO HELP PATRIOTS VANQUISH RAIDERS IN AFC CHAMPIONSHIP - Jan. 22
Season 3, Week 21 - PATRIOTS REPEAT AS CHAMPIONS - Feb. 8
Season 4, Week 1 - EMMITT LOOKING FOR WORK - Sept. 11
Season 4, Week 2 - CHRIS JOHNSON WANTS MORE MONEY - Sept. 18
Season 4, Week 3 - ARIAN FOSTER INJURED, ARRESTED AND SUSPENDED - Sept. 25
Season 4, Week 4 - DESEAN JACKSON BANNED FROM NFL - Oct. 2
Season 4, Week 5 - EMMITT REPLACES HANK WILLIAMS ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL - Oct. 8
Season 4, Week 6 - ANDY REID ON THE HOT SEAT AGAIN - Oct. 15
Season 4, Week 7 - HARBAUGH, SCHWARTZ PREPARE FOR BATTLE - Oct. 22
Season 4, Week 8 - NO TEAMS SHOW UP FOR TERRELL OWENS' WORKOUT AGAIN - Oct. 29
Season 4, Week 9 - JAMARCUS RUSSELL DISCUSSES COACHING STRATEGY - Nov. 5
Season 4, Week 10 - SANDUSKY BLOWS WHISTLE ON VICK - Nov. 12
Season 4, Week 11 - VICK DOG RAPE FALLOUT - Nov. 19
Season 4, Week 12 - SUH ASSIGNED TO ANGER MANAGEMENT - Nov. 26
Season 4, Week 13 - SKITTLE WARRIORS FAIL TO ISSUE VERDICT ON STEVE JOHNSON - Dec. 3
Season 4, Week 14 - EMMITT STOPS EVIL TIM TEBOW - Dec. 10
Season 4, Week 15 - SKITTLE WARRIORS ARREST SAM HURD - Dec. 17
Season 4, Week 16 - THE BEAST IS UNLEASHED; HELL IS UPON US - Dec. 24
Season 4, Week 17 - NEW NFL LOCKOUT HAS EVERYONE MIFFED - Dec. 31
Season 5, Week 1 - ALL SAINTS' GAMES SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE - Sept. 3
Season 5, Week 2 - BOUNTYGATE II SEXUAL ACTS CONTINUE - Sept. 10
Season 5, Week 3 - REPLACEMENT OFFICIAL TARGETED AS MAJOR SUSPECT IN BOUNTYGATE II - Sept. 17
Season 5, Week 4 - GREG SCHIANO GOES TOO FAR THIS TIME - Sept. 24
Season 5, Week 5 - POLICE STRIKE OVER; EMMITT HAS WARRANT IN HAND - Oct. 1
Season 5, Week 6 - ROGER GOODELL ARRESTED AND RELEASED - Oct. 8
Season 5, Week 7 - A LONG, BUT USEFUL DETOUR FOR EMMITT AND HIS CREW - Oct. 15
Season 5, Week 8 - EMMITT IS ARRESTED! - Oct. 22
Season 5, Week 9 - EMMITT FINDS A FRIEND IN JAIL - Oct. 29
Season 5, Week 10 - NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO CONVICT JONATHAN VILMA - Nov. 7
Season 5, Week 11 - ERIC MANGINI AND ASIAN ERIN ANDREWS' WEDDING - Nov. 14
Season 5, Week 12 - BOUNTYGATE II GOES BEYOND THE NFL - Nov. 21
Season 5, Week 13 - JERRY JONES FINALLY FIRES HIMSELF - Nov. 28
Season 5, Week 14 - EMMITT FINALLY ON RIGHT TRACK TO FINDING BOUNTYGATE II MASTERMIND - Dec. 5
Season 5, Week 15 - EMMITT FINALLY MEETS MASTERMIND OF BOUNTYGATE II - Dec. 12
Season 5, Week 16 - EMMITT'S FRIENDS TO THE RESCUE! - Dec. 19
Season 5, Week 17 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS REWARDED FOR ENDING BOUNTYGATE II - Dec. 26
2013 Fantasy Football Rankings - May 21
2014 NFL Mock Draft - May 21
Charlie's 2014 NFL Mock Draft - May 20
2013 NBA Mock Draft - May 3
NFL Picks - Feb. 3
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