Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010
Jerks of the Week for Feb. 1, 2010
This is a special Lost edition of Jerks of the Week. I'll discuss why Lost is a Jerk of the Week, and then I'll go into a full Season 6 preview.
If you haven't watched Lost at all, or if you've fallen behind, here are quick 5-minute videos recapping each season:
Lost Season 1 Summary
Lost Season 2 Summary
Lost Season 3 Summary
Lost Season 4 Summary
Lost Season 5 Summary
Note that this article contains spoilers from Seasons 1-5, but NOT Season 6. I don't know anything about Season 6 besides the name of the first episode.
JERK OF THE WEEK: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Lost is my favorite show ever. Those who have watched all five seasons will agree with me. Those who stopped watching during Season 2 when it dragged on for too long will sneer, "That show is still on? It sucks! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go watch mindless programming like the Jersey Shore, bro!" Having said that, I'm listing Lost as a Jerk of the Week for two reasons:
First, the producers of the show - or whoever's in charge - decided to release two versions of the Season 5 DVD. You can get the regular Season 5 version at Best Buy for $30. Nothing wrong with that. However, you can also purchase a special Season 5 edition for "only" $100.
This "special edition" DVD set must contain some awesome stuff, right? I mean, it's $70 more than the regular DVD set. For the extra $70, I'd expect an official Dharma jumpsuit, a Sawyer-Juliet sex tape and a Kate Austen blowup doll. That's not too much to ask for, is it?
Unfortunately, none of those great things are included. Here's what comes with the "special edition" DVD set:
Great. A welcome message from a hippie. I can go to one of the 5,000 Starbucks in downtown Philly for that.
This would have been cool - back in Season 2. The Dharma Initiative is no longer a mystery to us. I still maintain that a VHS tape containing a long version of Sawyer and Juliet getting it on would have been cooler.
Wowowowwowow leaflets wowowowwow.
More like a map of boredom!
Let me guess? You can't leave the vicinity of the barracks; you have to follow Horace's rules; you have to report any suspicious activity to LaFleur; you can't beat the s**t out of Phil even though you want to; and you can't join the Others and plan a war against the Dharma Initiative. Ben apparently did not buy this special edition DVD set.
Yes! Now I can proudly wear the patches around so everyone knows I'm a dork!
Whoop-dee-freaking-doo. If you have no taste in music and wanted to hear this song, all you had to do was download it on iTunes for $1.29. Hope you had fun spending your extra $70!
Wow, these Lost writers had some vision. They were already thinking of the show back in 1973. Most of the actors weren't even born yet!
The letter may seem cool, but if you really want to read it, all you have to do is go to Lostpedia.wikia.com. And it's not really that cool. We know what the truce was, and you can probably guess what all the rules were.
Look, I'm not bashing Lost at all - like I said, I love the show - but expecting people to shell out an extra $70 for this stuff, especially in this economy, is ridiculous. If you want to charge $20-$25 extra, I'm cool with that. But people can't afford to spend $70 on useless junk. It's not like we can crap gold coins out of our a**es like Glenn Beck.
OK, enough with Season 5 of Lost. The Season 6 premiere airs Tuesday night, which brings me to the second reason why I'm listing this as my Jerk of the Week:
I can't sleep trying to figure this damn show out. For the past few days, I've been thinking about what's going to happen. How will Season 6 begin? Did the characters really erase the first five seasons of the show by detonating a hydrogen bomb back in 1977? Does this mean they'll be landing in Los Angeles? If so, how will they make Walt look like he's 10 years old again?
This has been keeping me up for nights. Maybe I should wear those Dharma patches.
I have to say I'm depressed that this is the last season of Lost. The silver lining is that all of the questions will be answered, but I would be happier if they announced a surprise seventh season. I know all good things must come to an end, but we'll be losing the most intelligent show on TV.
I guess we'll always have crap MTV programming like the Jersey Shore. As one of those cast members would say:
"Eh yo... haha... uhh... haha... eh yo... how ya doin bro, how ya doin... eh yo..."
With only 18 episodes remaining, here are the 10 questions I want answered:
1. Who are Adam and Eve?
In the first season, the Losties found a cave that provides shelter and water. In that cave, they discover two skeletons - a man and a woman. They're dubbed "Adam and Eve." The Lost creators have indicated that this is one of two things that will prove that they've had the major plot line planned all along.
My Theory: The most logical answers are Jack and Kate, Sawyer and Kate, or Jin and Sun. I'll go out on a limb here - I say it's Charlie and Claire.
Yes, Charlie is dead, but there's a reason Hurley went back to the island, right? Whatever he's been carrying around in that guitar case is probably important. I think it might be a way to bring Charlie back to life. And then Charlie can save Evil Claire and make her normal again.
I don't know. It's the craziest thing that makes some sort of sense. Actually, it's probably Jin and Sun.
My Crackpot Theory: Hurley and Miles. Think about it. The two make such a great comedic team. They should never be separated. And Miles has a girlish figure. Maybe back in Season 1, Jack found a stash of Dharma beer, got drunk and mistook "Eve" for a smaller man. Don't be shocked if this happens.
2. What are the Whispers?
This has been haunting us since Season 1 when the scary French woman warned Sayid to run if he heard any whispers. Of course, we'd find out four years later that the French woman was scared of the whispers when a younger Ben told her to run away if she ever heard them.
My Theory: Esau - or whatever the name of Jacob's nemesis is - can turn into any dead person on the island (Christian Shephard, Locke, Yemi). He can also scan anyone's thoughts and recreate an image (Kate's horse, Hurley's imaginary friend). If so, I don't think it's crazy to speculate that he can recreate the voices of anyone who died on the island.
My Crackpot Theory: There are no whispers. Jack is just drunk and hearing things.
3. Why is Walt special?
Walt made birds fly into a window. He hit a bull's-eye with a knife. He was kidnapped by the Others and was asked to perform tests. He later told Locke that he had dreams of him back on the island.
Unfortunately, the actor portraying Walt grew too old, prompting the Lost creators to think, "Crap! We didn't realize this damn kid would age so quickly! We need to get him off the show!"
My Theory: Walt is the reincarnation of Jacob. "Jacob" didn't fight back against Ben because he wasn't Jacob anymore. Walt is the new Jacob.
My Crackpot Theory: Walt is not special. Jack is just drunk and seeing things.
No wait, I have a better one: Walt is Matthew Abaddon. If you take the 2007 version of Walt and stick him back in 1977 - maybe he hid in the back of Ajira 316 - and then age him 30 years, it's definitely possible. Adaddon knew about Locke when he told him to go on his walkabout. And when Abaddon saw Walt on the streets of New York in Season 5, he commented, "That boy has grown." When did Abaddon see Walt before? How could he say he has grown if he had never seen him before? And why did Abaddon leave Locke and Walt alone?
This doesn't explain why Walt is so special, but if you think about it, are his abilities any more amazing than Locke's cured paralysis?
4. Why do pregnant women die on the island?
Juliet was recruited by the Others a few years before the show began because pregnant women kept dying in their second trimester.
My Theory: The statue they showed at the beginning of the Season 5 finale was Taweret, the Egyptian goddess of birth. My theory is that when the hydrogen bomb blew up in 1977, it destroyed the Taweret statue. Ever since, women haven't been able to give birth. Perhaps that's why Eloise Hawking had to leave the island.
My Crackpot Theory: The last person born on the island was Ethan, right? Perhaps the island knew how much of a douche bag Ethan would become and declared that no new babies could be born.
5. Will Lost ever delve into Alvar Hanso or Gerald DeGroot?
We know that Alvar Hanso and Gerald DeGroot founded the Dharma Initiative. We also know that Alvar's ancestor, Magnus, was captain of the Black Rock. Other than that, we don't know anything about these two mysterious men. So, the question is, will we see Alvar Hanso or Gerald DeGroot in Season 6?
My Theory: No.
My Crackpot Theory: Yes.
6. What happened to Annie?
Annie was young Ben's little girlfriend back in the mid 1970s. She gave him a pair of dolls representing each other for Ben's birthday. Thirty years later, Ben would look at the dolls on his birthday, indicating that he still cared for Annie.
But where did Annie go? They didn't show her during the purge, and I doubt Ben would have killed her. They didn't show her at all in Season 5. What happened to Annie?
My Theory: Annie was ushered off the island in 1977 along with everyone else from the Dharma Initiative. Interestingly enough, Kate Austen was born in 1977, and her mother was named Annie too. Hmm...
I say Ben impregnated Annie in 1976 (hey, teen pregnancy was an issue back then too). Annie then gave birth to Kate nine months later. In Season 3, Ben had that nice breakfast with Kate because he finally wanted to spend some time with his daughter. Crazy, but remotely possible.
My Crackpot Theory: That wasn't crackpotish enough?
7. What is Richard Alpert's origin, and why can't he age?
We were first introduced to Richard Alpert in Season 3. Back then, we thought he was just another one of Ben's cronies. But then we saw him in the 1970s and 1950s, and he looked exactly the same.
My Theory: Richard Alpert came on the Black Rock. He was the only crew member who didn't kill or shoot anyone - as Esau indicated those people would do - so Jacob rewarded him with eternal life.
My Crackpot Theory: Screw Jacob. The black eyeliner Richard Alpert wears has magical powers.
8. What is in the Temple?
When Ben learned that the a**holes on the freighter were coming, he ordered his people to go to the Temple. He later asked his daughter to do the same. The black smoke monster protects the Temple. And Richard Alpert took a dying young Ben there to save his life.
My Theory: I honestly have no idea. Perhaps this is where Richard Alpert keeps a secret stash of black eyeliner.
My Crackpot Theory: When Richard Alpert took young Ben from Sawyer and Kate, he said, "If I take him, he'll never be the same again. He'll lose his innocence."
That gave it away! The Temple is the secret headquarters of NAMBLA!
9. What happened to Claire?
Claire was the show's cute blonde until she disappeared in the middle of Season 4. She just abandoned her baby and walked into the jungle. The only time we would see her after that was at the end of Season 4, when she was hanging out in Jacob's cabin with her dead father, Christian Shephard.
My Theory: Claire is dead. She died when the house exploded. That's why Miles curiously looked at her as they walked through the jungle with Sawyer. I don't think the Lost writers did this by accident. Miles can hear the thoughts of dead people, and I think he was picking something up from Claire. However, it is possible that he was just checking out her rear end.
In Jacob's cabin, Claire was not the same sweet girl we saw in the first 3-and-a-half seasons. She was calm and serene, and she looked like she had all the answers. Remind you of anyone? How about Evil Locke?
My Crackpot Theory: Claire has become evil. Think about what she has gone through on the show: She had to give birth on the island. She was kidnapped by the Others. She was nearly killed by the Others. She almost died in a car accident (off the island). She found out her father was an a**hole. She went through Charlie's death. And the house she was living in blew up.
If all of this stuff happened to me, I'd say, "F*** this, I'm joining the bad guys!"
10. Who are Jacob and Esau, what is the loophole, and what do the Shadow Statue people have to do with all of this?
The first scene of the Season 5 finale was a game-changer. For a season-and-a-half, we thought this show was all about a power struggle between Ben Linus and Charles Widmore.
All of those theories were debacled when Jacob and his nemesis (Esau?) had that conversation on the beach. Esau proclaimed that he would find a loophole and eventually kill Jacob. Jacob nonchalantly waved him off. However, about 250 years later, Esau would finally find that loophole and have Ben kill Jacob in the statue.
Meanwhile, these weird people arrived on the island, began knocking out anyone who didn't know the answer to their "What lies in the shadow of the statue?" riddle, torched Jacob's cabin, and told dFrank Lapidus that he's a candidate for something.
My Theory: I have no idea where to begin with Jacob and Esau. Well, we know one represents good, and the other represents evil. Jacob has faith in humanity. He keeps bringing individuals to the island to prove to Esau that people can exist peacefully and harmoniously. Esau, meanwhile, becomes a smoke monster (presumably), kills those who aren't innocent and takes the form of any dead person on the island. I can tell you this much - Esau will not be invited to my next house party.
Jacob and Esau appear to be mythical beings - two individuals fighting for control of this special island. They obviously can't kill each other, and I doubt Jacob, the good guy, would even want to do that to Esau. Jacob probably thinks that if he can prove Esau wrong about humanity, maybe Esau will change.
Esau, meanwhile, has spent the past 250-plus years plotting Jacob's death. I would speculate that the loophole is having Jacob's leader (i.e. the leader of the Others) kill Jacob with Esau's influence. That's the only thing that makes sense to me at the moment.
The Shadow Statue people could be descendants of the Black Rock crew. Maybe that's how they knew Richard's original name. Maybe their ancestors were once Jacob's people, but were tricked by Esau into leaving the island. And perhaps Frank Lapidus is a candidate to become the next Jacob if Esau were able to succeed in killing the current Jacob.
My Crackpot Theory: Jack got drunk, passed out, and dreamt about Jacob and Esau. They aren't real.
In all seriousness, nothing I can come up with will be as good as what we'll see this season. I just hope all of these questions are answered - though I wouldn't mind some of them being addressed in a surprise Season 7.
More Jerks of the Week:
Jerks of the Week - Home
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein
2013 Fantasy Football Rankings - May 21
2014 NFL Mock Draft - May 21
Charlie's 2014 NFL Mock Draft - May 20
2013 NBA Mock Draft - May 3
NFL Picks - Feb. 3
© 1999-2013 Walter Cherepinsky : all rights reserved
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