Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2016





Jerks of the Week: Oct. 17, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: The Vuse Odyssey

When I left the house one recent Saturday afternoon, I had one simple request from my fiancee:

"Can you pick up a cartridge of Vuse originals on your way back from the gym?"

That may not sound difficult to you, and it certainly didn't to me. After all, I've done it before. All I've had to do was pull into a Wawa, approach the counter, ask for a Vuse cartridge that would allow my fiancee's e-cigarette to be powered, and pay the cashier. That's it. Four simple steps.

What I didn't realize that this would end up being one of the most frustrating afternoons I've had in a very long time.

My first stop wasn't actually the gym. I didn't tell my fiancee I planned on going to the mall because I was shopping for a birthday gift for her, as well as my sister, as their birthdays happen to be six days apart.

Unfortunately, I didn't know what to buy for them. I didn't have any sort of plan before leaving the house, so I wandered around the mall aimlessly. While doing so, I happened to notice a large number of attractive Asian women walking around. Maybe it was from all of the Asian porn I've downloaded over the years, but I half expected one particular woman to approach me and ask if I wanted to pay her to give me a hand job. I soon realized that this was not a realistic scenario, which made me yearn for those videos. In some of them, a dude is usually being massaged by a hot Asian woman, and then she asks him if he wants the "whole package," or whatnot, and the dude always forks over the $250 in cash he conveniently has in his wallet. That's when the fun begins.

Wouldn't the world be a better place if you could be asked if you wanted the "whole package" anywhere for $250? That would be great. I'm engaged, so I would politely decline, but the Walt from 2013 and beforehand would bring $2,000 to the mall to score with eight hot women at once.

I moved from store to store, all the while thinking about how great I was for coming up with such a wonderful idea. The world would undoubtedly improve, as men would be happier, while the economy would grow as a result of this new booming business. Of course, the government would probably step in and ruin everything, taxing these wonderful girls into oblivion, and making things very difficult for...

My thought process came to an abrupt halt when I saw the following sign outside of Hot Topic:



Are you f***ing kidding me? A Safe Space at the mall? Here I was, happily walking about the mall, trying to make the world a better place, when I encountered a sign that showed that microaggression morons have infected environments outside of college campuses.

I felt like screaming. What is this world coming to? Why are we bombarded by pu**ies and idiots? Why do they have to ruin everything for everyone?

My anger was followed by questions:

1. What are the two letters at the end? I get Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender. But what are "Q" and "A?" I suppose "Q" would be the omnipotent alien from Star Trek: The Next Generation. That makes sense. As for "A," I'm at a loss. My best guess would be Alligator.

2. What the hell makes something a Safe Space, anyway? Can anyone just put up a sign that says "Safe Space" and have it be a Safe Space? Do you need the area to fit the appropriate government zoning requirements? And what's to stop someone from running into Hot Topic and shouting, "LGBTAQ people/alligators suck!?" Does that ruin the Safe Space? Does this individual get shot by a death ray because they violated the Safe Space? I don't understand makes a designated Safe Space an actual space that happens to be safe.

3. Can I create a Safe Space for myself with the goal of keeping Safe Spaces away from my Safe Space? Like, if someone tries to establish a Safe Space within a 20-mile radius of my Safe Space, they'd be violating my Safe Space, and thusly would be shot by my Safe Space death ray?

As you can see, this ruined my day. I went from thinking about how women could offer "whole packages" to men for sums of money to being frustrated by Safe Spaces. And yet, my afternoon would only get worse!




I eventually left the mall and drove to the gym, where I swam a mile and then soaked in the hot tub for 45 minutes. These dudes were talking politics, and they constantly asked me questions, as if I were some sort of political expert. I mean, I am, but I didn't make that known to them, so I don't know how they were aware. I couldn't escape the hot tub as a result.

As it turns out, being in a hot tub for 45 consecutive minutes causes headaches, and I had a pounding one when I left the gym. I couldn't wait to drive home, open up a bottle of Advil and pour dozens of pills into my mouth.

Unfortunately, I had to make one stop before going home: Wawa, so I could pick up my fiancee's Vuse cartridge. There happens to be a Wawa across the street from the gym, so I just went in there. I figured I'd get an Icee while I was there because Icees are the greatest. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the lid on quite right, so red liquid was dripping all over the floor and the counter where I planned on paying. This teenage guy behind a counter who was sporting what looked like a fake mustache was just staring at the puddles of red goo the entire time, and so I had to get his attention because I wanted a cartridge of Vuse originals. He rang me up, and that was that.

Except, I walked away from the cashier and looked at what he handed me. It was an actual Vuse e-cigarette and not a cartridge. I specifically asked him for a cartridge, so why did he hand me an e-cigarette?

"Hey, I asked for..." I said, turning around, but stopped when I saw an old lady paying for something, so I'd have to wait.

This old woman took years to pay for her items. Years!

"Excusesh me for taking sho long shonny," she said. "I know I have other thingsh than $20 billsh in here."

She rummaged through her purse, seeking something other than a $20, which she happened to have an abundance of for some reason. My head throbbed worse and worse with each passing minute, and I considered throwing the e-cigarette at her because she was taking so long. Meanwhile, my hand was now absolutely drenched in red slime because I was holding the Icee the entire time.

"I can't find anything other than $20 billsh," she finally said. "I'll guessh I will just pay with thish."

Great. Thanks for wasting my time, lady!

It was finally my turn to talk to the cashier, and he looked surprised that I was back so soon.

Me: Hey, I asked for Vuse cartridges; not an e-cigarette.

Cashier: Oh, sorry.

Me: Can I exchange this for a cartridge then?

Cashier: No, we don't do exchanges here.

Me: What? But I literally just asked for something else and you gave me the wrong thing!

Cashier: That's our policy.

Your policy is to sell someone the wrong item so you can f*** them over!? I don't understand how that's allowed!

Me: Well, can I just buy an actual cartridge of Vuse, then?

Cashier: Sorry, we're out.

What a f***ing a**hole. Couldn't he have just told me that in the first place? I felt the urge to reach over the counter, grab his fake mustache, rip it off and stuff it into my mouth, then return eight hours later and s**t it out on the register.

Whatever. I took my e-cigarette and Icee, and stormed out of this particular Wawa. I supposed my fiancee could always use another e-cigarette in case her current one was either lost or broken, and I could just go to the Wawa near my house to pick up a cartridge.

I returned to the parking lot, put the e-cigarette down and opened the door to my car. I placed the Icee into the cup holder, and within seconds, there was red liquid leaking everywhere. I have proof:



Making matters worse, my hand was very sticky, and I'd have to use it on the steering wheel. I tried wiping my hand on my shirt, but that didn't do very much.

I pulled out of the parking spot and went right onto the side street to eventually turn onto the busy road. As I was turning, I heard a thud, as if something fell down, and that's when it hit me - it was the e-cigarette!






I'm an idiot. Remember when I wrote that I "put the e-cigarette down?" Well, I put it down on top of my car because I wanted to place my Icee inside first. Thanks to my headache and overall frustration, I forgot about the e-cigarette!

I decided to turn around. Of course, this was when numerous cars drove onto the side road. I was making a U-turn in close quarters, so this took some time. Everyone was honking at me. It was a nightmare.

I pulled back into the Wawa parking lot. "I can get it," I told myself as I wandered over to the street.

HONK!

Someone who was pulling out of the lot nearly hit me, since I wasn't watching where I was going. I was instead focusing on locating the e-cigarette, and I eventually spotted it. It was in the middle of the road, and was fine to retrieve because it was encased in a clear, glass container, designed to protect the e-cigarette in case someone dropped it.

Cars stopped coming from one side, and the coast looked clear. I began running toward the e-cigarette, but a truck turned onto the street out of the blue, and -

POP!

The e-cigarette case exploded. There was glass all over the street, and cars were swerving to avoid it. I sprinted back to my car, hoping that no one would see who was responsible for this. I thought I was in the clear, but the old lady from before, who was still in the parking lot for some reason, looked at me and shook her head disapprovingly.

So, did I manage to secure a Vuse cartridge? I did, but that took some time. I went to the Wawa near my house, but had to wait in line for 10 minutes because the old lady behind the counter couldn't find the price for a bottle of Pure Leaf peach iced tea this couple in front of me wanted to purchase. The girl was attractive, which made me wonder what she was doing with a guy who had such a crazy beard that it looked like a bird was living inside of it.

"I can't find a price on this!" the old woman exclaimed, returning to the register after what seemed like an eternity.

"That's because no one buys f***ing Pure Leaf peach iced tea except you idiots!" I wanted to shout. But I didn't, as that would've just made my headache worse.

About 15 minutes later, I finally returned home from my Vuse odyssey. I slammed the Vuse cartridge onto the counter, prompting my fiancee t ask me what was wrong.

"I'll tell you later," I said, rushing to the cabinet and popping open the bottle of Advil.

Twelve pills later, I was passed out in my bed, quickly falling into a slumber as I realized how much better my day could've been had a hot Asian woman offered to sell me the whole package at the mall. I wouldn't have accepted, but it still would've made me a lot happier knowing that the world was a better place.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 17


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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