Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2016





Jerks of the Week: Feb. 1, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: McPick 2

My sister and I used to beg my mom to buy us McDonald's at least once per week when we were kids. And on most occasions, she obliged. You see, I swam when growing up, and practices typically ended around 8, so by the time I was showered, dressed, and done stalking the hot chicks I was swimming with, it would be 8:30 - certainly too late for my mom to cook dinner each night. Thus, she was happy to answer our pleas.

Because I burned so many calories at each practice, I would eat like a madman. A typical McDonald's dinner for me was four cheeseburgers (seriously), large fries and a six-piece Chicken McNuggets order. Yes, I'm going to have a heart attack by the time I'm 40. And I'm OK with that.

I ate at McDonald's throughout high school, and it was often a stop on the way back to the dorm after a night of drinking at Penn State on weekends. I grew up on McDonald's, and at one point, I probably could've recited the menu by heart.

That's not the case anymore. In fact, I haven't gotten non-breakfast McDonald's food in nearly half a century.

This was not an effort to eat healthier on my part. Believe me, if I could still dine at McDonald's once per week, I definitely would. Unfortunately, I'm no longer capable of processing their cheeseburgers. Seriously, I can't do it.

It was the summer after my final year of college. My friends and I stopped in at McDonald's during lunch hour on a Saturday. Because I was no longer swimming, my intake trimmed down to three cheeseburgers and large fries. I gobbled all of it up contently, and then went home to play video games, or do something stupid.

I was meeting with my friends to play basketball four hours later. Four hours is a long time, and it should've been enough for me to digest my food, allowing me to play basketball normally. However, I took a few warmup shots, and I was already sweating profusely. Three minutes into the game, I was about to keel over. Three more minutes later, I ran to the bathroom to vomit.

I figured I was just having some sort of stomach bug. A week later, I ate McDonald's for dinner; this time I had three cheeseburgers and six pieces of Chicken McNuggets. Once again, I used to eat this all the time, so I should've been OK. After finishing my meal, I went to my computer to work, but I suddenly got tired, and then I began perspiring again. I plopped down on my bed, and then I began shaking. The tremors weren't violent, but they were bad enough to make me stop eating McDonald's.

I hadn't touched non-breakfast McDonald's food until about five years ago. I thought I'd grab a cheeseburger to go along with my Saladworks salad - just one to be healthy - and once I finished it, I got the same crappy feeling again, though it wasn't as bad because I didn't eat nearly as much.

And thus, my sad saga ends. No more McDonald's for me. Well, the breakfast is just fine, but I can't touch their burgers, which is probably for the best. I wouldn't be surprised if it's comprised of rat meat. I say this because my girlfriend told me an interesting fact - the ingredients of the McRib make it closer to Jell-O than actual ribs. No one should be surprised by this.




Despite my inability to eat at McDonald's, I'm taunted by their commercials. Most of them are bad, and it all started when they introduced the slogan "I'm lovin' it" about a dozen years ago. I'm sure you know this, but if you add the "g" to "lovin," their slogan is an anagram for "ailing vomit." And based on my history with their food, it couldn't be further from the truth!

McDonald's is now trying to utilize a new strategy to lure people into their restaurants in order to poison them with their rat meat and Jell-O sandwiches. They have an incredible, original campaign called the McPick 2. This innovative scheme allows people to pick two items on the menu for $2. Amazing. No one has ever thought of this before, so great job, McDonald's!

The McPick 2 ploy is accompanied by a snazzy commercial featuring a couple of attractive women and an upbeat, hip song that can relate to all of the youngsters. If you've been living under a rock and somehow haven't seen it, here it is:



I love some of the comments beneath the video...

  • This is what 40 y/o add executives think is "hip." This is the most condescending commercial I've ever seen. "HURR DURR LEMME GIT UH MICK PICK TOO!"

  • LET ME GET A ... Jesus Christ it's like I'm living in idiocracy.

  • Nice! You got the Asian, the Black person, the cute little white girl throwing the deuces. A s***ty pop song. McDonald's is so hip and fun. It's still f***ing garbage though, right?

  • McDonald has gone Gangsta. Just another example of McDonald's lame attempt at being hip. And they wonder why they're losing the market share. Wake up, your food is crap, these commercials aren't going to help.

  • This commercial is offensive.

    All of these comments are right on the money. Especially that last one. This ad is extremely offensive. Why? I'm glad you asked. Let's highlight the important parts to demonstrate how horrible this really is...






    0:02: Can I get a McPick 2?



    I don't know why they're having this semi-attractive woman talk like white trash, but that's not the most disconcerting thing here. That would be what she's doing with her hands.

    First of all, who does that? Panera Bread has a "Pick 2" option, and I've never signaled a sideways two with my hands that I wanted the Pick 2. You know why? Because I'm not a f***ing idiot. I'm well aware that the person understands what I'm saying when I ask, "Can I have the Pick 2?"

    And please, don't tell me that the cashier talking to this woman is deaf. Why would flashing a sideways peace sign indicate the "McPick 2" anyway? It could be the No. 2 meal, or it could mean that she comes to McDonald's in peace, or she wants to know where the bathroom is so she can drop a deuce.

    Second, does the shape her hands happen to be in seem familiar to you? No? What if I show you this?



    This is DeSean Jackson, a stupid, overrated football player, flashing the Crips sign to a member of the Redskins for some reason, as if it's supposed to mean anything significant.

    Yes. That's right. This lady is a member of the Crips.

    Now, you may ask why she's not wearing blue. First of all, we only see half of her body. She may have a blue handkerchief sticking out of her pocket. Second, it's possible that her brain might have turned to mush after eating too many items on the McPick 2 menu. I'm telling you, McDonald's food really f***s you up.

    0:05: Asian guy is happy



    If you erase the cheeseburger and just show people this guy's face, what do you think they would guess?

    A. He just won Powerball using his genius girlfriend's formula.

    B. He ate horrible food that will make him sweat profusely and vomit.

    C. Someone was rubbing one out for him, and he happened to be splooging his stuff out.

    The answer, naturally, is "C." This is this guy's O face. There is white, gooey stuff coming out of this guy right now, and McDonald's is trying to pitch horrible food to us using his reaction to his orgasm.

    Now that I think about it, McDonald's does use a "special" sauce, right?

    0:17: McChicken



    LOOK! THE WHITE SAUCE IN THE MCCHICKEN SANDWICH! IT'S THE ASIAN GUY'S SPLOOGE!

    Jesus. McDonald's, what the hell are you doing? Why are you making people eat someone else's man juice? No wonder I felt sick all the time.

    0:17: Selfie



    Ugh. Really? A selfie? And I didn't think this commercial could get any worse.

    If you haven't read my rant on selfies before, I'll make this brief. Selfies are horrible. In fact, they're emblematic of the downfall of Western civilization.

    There's nothing worse than a selfie. It says, "Hey, look at how important I am! Look at me! I'm so important! This is me taking a picture of myself like some sort of a**hole! That makes me cool! Yeah!"

    I hate anyone who takes selfies. Unless you're a hot chick taking selfies of yourself to show off your cleavage, there is no reason for anyone to take a selfie. People who take selfies are self-absorbed douchebags I want absolutely nothing to do with. So, if you're a selfie-taker, f*** off and leave this Web site now. Seriously. Go. Adios.

    0:18: Gang Sign Selfie



    Great. More selfies. And we get to see more of the O-Face Asian guy again, so that's cool.

    What I want to focus on is the girl here. She's pretty cute. However, her decision-making is highly questionable.

    First of all, she can do better than this douche. And it has nothing to do with the fact that he's Asian, so f*** off, PC idiots. The dude is lame because A) he splooges to McDonald's food; B) he's too poor to afford anything beyond McDonald's; and C) he's obsessed with taking selfies of him eating McDonald's. Who the hell does that? Being a moron like Kim Kardashian and taking ordinary selfies of yourself is bad enough, but doing so to show off that you're poor in the process? That's just stupid.

    Second, why is she flashing the Crips sign while wearing red? Confused much?

    And third, what is this chick wearing? What's up with the red and black stripes? She looks like the Pan-African Flag. In fact, if she cut off her sleeves, she could look like this idiot:



    No wonder this girl is dating some poor dude who has an orgasm whenever he eats McDonald's. She could easily be with a senator or a football player, but she's stuck with a selfie-taking imbecile because she's not showing off the goods. That's just dumb. If I had goods, I'd show them off.

    0:20: Another selfie



    "HURR DURR LET'S TAKE A SELFIE OF US EATING A MOZZARELLA STICK HURR DURR."

    0:22: And another one



    "HURR DURR I'M STILL FLASHING THE WRONG GANG SIGNS AND I'M WEARING AN UGLY SHIRT AND NOT SHOWING OFF MY BOOBS AT ALL AND I'M DATING A POOR DUDE WHO CAN'T SATISFY ME BECAUSE HE HAS AN ORGASM DURING DINNER WHEN WE EAT POOR PEOPLE FOOD HURR DURR."

    0:26: Ugh



    I'm seriously losing faith in humanity at this point. First, some bearded a**hole is also throwing up Crips signs in celebration of his McPick 2, and then we have a shot of some skank who came out of nowhere.

    I really don't understand McDonald's obsession with having everyone flash a sideways peace sign. Do they think this will actually catch on? Is there some moron out there watching this commercial and thinking, "When I order my McPick 2, I'm totally gonna flash that cool sideways peace sign; because I'm getting the McPick 2, and two fingers are going up, but not straight up, but to the side instead! Soooo cool!?" Of course not.

    Well, actually I guess I shouldn't say that. If some people insist on doing stupid things like taking selfies of themselves, I imagine some would actually adopt the McPick 2/Crips sign.

    0:27: Argh



    OK, McDonald's is trolling us at this point, right? It's bad enough to take selfies of yourself, and it's even worse to do so while eating McDonald's, but snapping a selfie while eating McDonald's and sitting next to Ronald McDonald is a new low, and I won't tolerate it anymore.

    I hate petitions and rallies, but I'd like to begin a protest to get this woman deported. Seriously. Her stupidity is unparalleled, and she's only going to procreate even dumber offspring. And these children will do even worse things like taking selfies while eating McDonald's and sitting next to Ronald McDonald and setting up a camera in his hand so it appears as though he's shooting a selfie of himself as well.

    I can't take it anymore. I just can't.

    0:28: Wait...

    Wait, what just happened? Why are they replaying the commercial again? Why, God, why!? 0:46: Oh, wow



    Wait, how the hell did I miss this the first time? The Asian man is having yet another orgasm. Unreal.

    You know what I just realized? I was dealt an awful hand. I can't eat McDonald's at all unless I want to suffer a seizure, yet this guy simply gets off every time he puts a rat burger into his mouth.

    Life's not fair. This impending heart attack of mine can't come soon enough.

    LOADING COMMENTS...



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    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
    Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




    NFL Picks - Nov. 17


    2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


    2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


    Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


    2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


    NFL Power Rankings - May 5









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