Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2016





Jerks of the Week: Oct. 3, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Tales of the Ailing Foot

My foot has been killing me for two weeks. Like, literally killing me - as in waking up in the middle of the night, creeping down to my kitchen, grabbing a knife and stabbing me in the gut repeatedly. That's what it feels like - except the pain is actually in my foot, if you hadn't guessed.

When I'm sitting down, all is fine. The same goes for when I'm in bed. However, standing and walking around has been quite painful. The sensation is at the top of my heel. It feels like there's a bone sticking out, which sounds weird. It's almost like something is there. If I didn't know any better, I'd say aliens kidnapped me and tried to anally probe me, only to be thwarted by the anal-probe protection I wear every night, so they opted to stick the probe into my foot instead. What dicks!

I'm no doctor, but I thought it'd be a good idea to go to the gym and sit in the hot tub to make my foot feel better. OK, that didn't sound too smart when I typed it out, but I planned on putting my foot in front of one of the jets, so it'd be like a massage of sorts. I figured that couldn't hurt the issue, as long as it wasn't an anal probe.

I got to the pool and did my usual mile, realizing how great swimming is for exercise, since it does nothing bad for the back and legs. Once I concluded my workout, I limped over to the hot tub, but to my chagrin, there were about eight people in there, so there was no room to stretch out and place my foot in front of the jets.

At the very least, I could sit in the hot tub and relax, right? That turned out to be wishful thinking. I love going into the hot tub; not just to feel better, but being in there always gives me ideas of what to write about. Granted, most of them are terrible ideas, but they are ideas nonetheless!

Of course, to get these ideas, I'd actually have to relax, but that was not possible because of the people in there. Well, rather one individual in particular. This balding, chubby guy in his 40s would not shut the hell up. He had diarrhea of the mouth while talking to this older woman. Well, let me rephrase that. He was talking at this older woman, as she didn't appear to be particularly interested in what he was saying. This guy had no concept of that, as he continued to have diarrhea of the mouth, talking over her even when he would ask her questions.

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: SWIMMING'S GREAT EXERCISE, REALLY IS, HELPS MY BACK, LOVE THE HOT TUB, I DID 50 LAPS TODAY, HOW MANY LAPS DID YOU DO?

Older Woman: I did a mile.

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: A MILE HUH I DIDN'T DO A MILE A MILE IS A LOT HOW MANY LAPS IS A MILE?!?!?!

Older Woman: It's sixty-

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: WHAT'S THAT, LIKE 75 LAPS!? THAT'S A LOTTA LAPS!!! GOTTA BE IN REAL GOOD SHAPE TO DO 75 LAPS!!! I BET KIDS THESE DAYS COULDN'T DO 75 LAPS!!! ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT SAFE SPACES AND WHATNOT, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT'S GOING ON IN UNIVERSITIES RIGHT NOW!?!?

Older Woman: Yeah, I think-

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: THESE KIDS ARE HORRIBLE, THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF HOW THE REAL WORLD IS LIKE!!! THAT'S WHY I HOPE DONALD TRUMP WINS! GOTTA TRUMP IT UP!!! TRUMP IT UP!!! TRUMP IT UP!!! TRUMP IT UP!!! TRUMP IT UP!!!

He literally said "Trump it up!" five times in a row, which made me feel pretty s***ty. I thought about voting for Trump, but I'm now considering a switch to Gary Johnson. I don't want to be aligned with this guy in any way. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone talks over someone else, failing to listen what the other person is saying. But this guy took it to a new extreme.

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: I LIKE TO COME HERE ON WEEKDAYS BUT SOMETIMES THE POOL IS CLOSED FOR WATER AEROBICS!!! WHAT TIME IS WHAT AEROBICS DO YOU KNOW!?!??!

Older Woman: It's Tuesdays and Wed-.

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: WHAT'S IT LIKE, MONDAY AND TUESDAY AT 5 O'CLOCK!?!?! I'M TELLING YOU, WATER AEROBICS LOOKS TOUGH TO ME!!! HOW MUCH DO YOU HAVE TO PAY TO GET INTO ONE OF THESE CLASSES!?!?!??

Older Woman: It's free to do-.

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: I'M TELLING YA, I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR CLASSES!!! I ALREADY PAY A PREMIUM TO BE A MEMBER OF LA FITNESS, I DON'T THINK IT'S RIGHT THAT WE HAVE TO PAY FOR CLASSES!!!

Older Woman: You don't have to p-.

Diarrhea of Mouth Guy: I'M REALLY GOING TO LET THEM HAVE IT AT THE FRONT DESK!!! I'M GOING TO LET THEM KNOW THAT CLASSES SHOULD BE FREE!!! I CAN COME HERE MONDAYS TO DO WATER AEROBICS BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF I HAVE TO PAY FOR ANY CLASSES!!!

I wanted to straight up shout at the dude, "IF YOU WOULD F***ING LISTEN, YOU'D KNOW YOU COULD DO WATER AEROBICS ON TUESDAY AT 6 P.M. AND NOT HAVE TO PAY FOR IT!!!" Fortunately, after 10 more minutes of endless talking, the older woman had enough. She said she had to go. She briskly exited the hot tub, rendering Diarrhea of Mouth Guy defeated. He looked around, seeing if anyone else would let him talk at them. He then glanced at me, but I averted eye contact. I got the sense that he was going to start talking at me, so I sprung out of the hot tub as quickly as possible.

This, of course, aggravated my foot injury, but I didn't care. I'd rather endure five million anal probes in my foot than hear him talk again.




That evening, I went to Wal-Mart with my fiancee. The trip was eventful for two reasons.

First, we both saw this crazy lady who was shouting at a younger woman, presumably her daughter. She was holding a can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs, and her eyes were bloodshot.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY," she roared. "I'M GOING TO GET THIS, AND YOU CAN'T SAY NO!!!"

Holy crap. I haven't seen someone that angry about Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs ever since I tried to take a can from a fat guy when I was a kid.

I still can't get over this. She was so furious. Was being able to purchase a can of Chef Boyardee that significant to her? If so, why? Does her daughter have a permanent ban on spaghetti and meatballs at her house? Did Chef Boyardee commit crimes against their family long ago? I would really like to know why this created so much ire.

Second, we got Subway on the way out! There happened to be a mini-Subway restaurant in this particular Walt-Mart. Unfortunately, they didn't have chicken parm sandwiches, which was a bummer. Meatball parm was available though, and that's always my second option. Meatball and chicken parm sandwiches at Subway are quite good, by the way. They're very tasty, and you can lose 150 pounds just by eating them, just like that one child molester guy did.

Since I was eating so healthily, I figured I could treat myself to an Icee as a beverage. They had red and blue flavors, and when the cashier asked me which flavor I wanted, I said "red." This made my fiancee laugh.

Fiancee: Red's not a flavor!

Me: Yeah, it is. Look!

Fiancee: Cherry's the flavor! Not red!

Whatever! We ended up getting two sandwiches, the Icee and five bags of potato chips - I told you, we were eating healthy, so we were able to splurge a bit - and the bill came out to like $29.47. I handed the cashier $30, and she returned 53 cents to me, which I dumped into the tip jar. I figured she'd appreciate it, but apparently not. She scowled at me, as if she were thinking that 53 cents was not enough of a tip for her.

Umm... when did it become customary to even tip Subway workers? She barely did anything; she didn't even put our five bags of chips into a plastic bag!

Anyway, I tried to hurry back to the car in anticipation of eating my delicious Subway sandwich, but I struggled to move quickly.

"You really should get your foot looked at," my fiancee suggested.

I took her advice and scheduled an appointment with my doctor the following day...






My doctor moved into yet another new office. He used to be located within a 5-minute walk from my house. Now, I had to make a 20-minute drive. Yeah, I know, first-world problems - but first-world problems are the worst problems. I guarantee that the starving kids in Ethiopia would not want to trade places with me!

Anyway, I found the new office just fine, but navigating back from the patient room to the lobby was nearly impossible. The place was like a labyrinth! Every single hallway looked the same, and it felt like I kept going in circles. At one point, I didn't think I'd make it out of there alive.

As it turns out, my foot problem is plantar fasciitis. I figured everyone would know what this was, but the people I told - my fiancee, mom, sister - never heard of that malady. It then dawned on me that I only know about it because football players suffer that particular injury and then miss some games. Peyton Manning dealt with plantar fasciitis in his final year, as a matter of fact. I'd compare myself to Manning right now, but I don't have the fame, money or cheesy commercials. But hey, at least I don't choke in the playoffs!

My doctor's office actually happened to be close to Neshaminy Mall, which meant I could go to the LA Fitness in that compound. I hesitated, since the last time I went, the chlorine levels were so high that it felt like I was choking on fumes. That was three months ago, so it must have improved, right?

I guess that was wishful thinking. I couldn't even finish my mile. I did half of it, and I couldn't stop coughing.

"F*** this!" I shouted as I tossed my goggles at my bag. "I'm done!"

I limped over to the hot tub, which was empty, save for one dude. I was finally able to put my foot in front of one of the jets. Ahhhh!!!

I looked at the person in there with me and thanked the heavens it wasn't Diarrhea of Mouth Guy. It was another old dude, and he happened to be eating a green lollipop. I was jealous of the lollipop, but otherwise thought nothing of him - until he turned to me as soon as he finished his candy.

"Want this?" Lollipop Man asked, holding his white lollipop stick.

Uhh... what? Do I want your lollipop stick? Why the hell would I want that, weirdo?

Me: Umm... no thanks, I'm good.

Lollipop Man: Are you sure?

Me: Yeah, I'm good, I don't want a lollipop stick.

Lollipop Man: What? No, not that. This seat!

Me: This seat? Huh?

Lollipop Man: Yeah! This is the best seat in the house!

Best seat in the house? What are you talking about? We're not at a concert or some show. It's a freaking hot tub! How is one spot in a hot tub that much better than another one?

I told him that I was OK, and he looked at me strangely, almost as if he thought I was insane for not wanting his precious hot tub seat. Well, if you're reading this, pal, the feeling's mutual!

At any rate, I've been stretching and taking some inflammation reducers to heal my plantar fasciitis. It still hurts, but it's gotten better.

The good news is that I don't anticipate getting plantar fasciitis ever again. That's because in addition to wearing anal probe shielding at night, I'm also equipped with some new foot armor. Ha! Take that, stupid aliens!

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 24


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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