Jerks of the Week - Jan. 19, 2015





Jerks of the Week: Jan. 19, 2015


JERK OF THE WEEK: Return to Parx Casino

I absolutely cannot stand the casino they built around the corner from my house. I've mentioned it before; in fact, I wrote an entry several years ago on how I spent a miserable New Year's Eve at Parx Casino - this was back in the ancient times when this Web site didn't have a comment board - and after a couple of trips there, I vowed never to go back.

Here's why I hate Parx Casino:

1. In that aforementioned New Year's entry, I spent 45 minutes in line for a single drink and didn't even get one, and I also waited for 20 minutes in coat check because there were so many people. It completely ruined the night.

New Year's Eve sucks, by the way. Everyone makes a huge deal about it, and it always turns out to be a letdown. Hosting parties for New Year's never turns out well because people always go away or make other plans, and going places is stupid because you probably have to pay $50 at the very least to get into somewhere halfway decent. And because people are always going places, you have to either wait around in traffic or swerve around drunk drivers, who are trying to end your life.

2. Ninety-five percent of Parx Casino is comprised of slots. There are some blackjack and poker tables, and I'm sure there are other things like roulette wheels - though I've never seen them - but almost everything in there is a slot machine.

Slots are the worst thing ever. The odds of winning them are the lowest, and they require absolutely no skill. At least in blackjack and poker, you can win by using your intellect. For slots, all you're doing is pulling down a lever and hoping for one of the listed combinations that wins you money.

The worst part is that the slots are the most popular thing at Parx Casino. There are countless people who just sit at the machines and lifelessly pull levers all night long. They look like zombies; they're just so lifeless, staring blankly at the flashing lights on the machine, hoping to win some money, when they have absolutely no control over it. It just bothers me to see these rotting carcasses waste their lives away when they could be doing something way more productive like finding cures for cancer, ending world hunger or directing great lesbian porn videos.

3. Parx Casino has affected the surrounding environment. As you can imagine, it's created traffic problems. It once took my girlfriend's brother Jimmy and his girlfriend Chelsea an hour to get to my house, when it should've been a 15-minute drive. Casino traffic coupled with construction delayed them 45 minutes.

Parx has also wrecked the bar scene in my area. I used to write about my weekly trips to Whiskey Tango, my local bar, but it shut down because most of its usual patrons began going to the casino. Bars close at 2 in Pennsylvania, so Tango couldn't compete with Parx, which remains open 24 hours a day. They stop serving alcohol at 2 - another idiotic law - but people can just order a bunch of drinks at 1:45 and hold them for a couple of hours, all while gambling and having a good time. No bar stands a chance against that.

I promised never to go back to that abomination, but I was faced with a dilemma on a recent Saturday night. My girlfriend asked if I wanted to meet Jimmy and Chelsea at Parx. I was about to say no because I loathe that place, but then my girlfriend said something that made me change my mind:

"We can meet them for dinner at Chickie's & Pete's!" she suggested.

Oh, man. I love Chickie's & Pete's for their amazing crab fries and cheese dipping sauce. It's always been a personal dream of mine to own a vault like Scrooge McDuck, but instead of filling it with gold coins, I'd have Chickie & Pete's crab fries and cheese dipping sauce in there. I'd swim around in it and stuff as much as possible into my mouth until I suffer a heart attack. It would be so incredible.

Ultimately, I decided to go. Two reasons: First, I was starving. I can always eat, but I was so hungry that I could complete the Walter Post-Swim Meet Special that I used to do when I was a kid. Following a swim meet, I burned so many calories that I ate a whole large pepperoni pizza, an entire cheesesteak and then cheese fries. Oh, and I usually topped it off with ice cream or a brownie afterward. And people wonder why I weigh 5,000 pounds.

Second, I hadn't been to Parx Casino in a couple of years, so my hatred for it had dissipated. It couldn't really be that bad, right? Right?

WRONG! PARX STILL SUCKS, AND IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN I REMEMBERED IT BEING!!!

Sorry for the caps there, but I just had to do that for emphasis. Parx Casino is still a terrible place to be. I should have taken our experience in the parking lot as a bad sign. Reckless drivers were everywhere, and it took us forever to find parking. We had to walk 10 minutes in the blistering cold just to reach the front entrance.

Once inside, my girlfriend asked if I wanted to check my coat.

"NO F***ING WAY, ANYTHING BUT THAT!" I shrieked. She looked at me oddly, but I didn't care. Under no circumstances was I waiting 20 minutes to check my coat again.




We made our way to Chickie's & Pete's, where we were supposed to meet up with Jimmy and Chelsea. Before they got there, I gave the hostess my name. Her reply nearly brought me to tears:

"It'll be a 45-minute or an hour wait," she said.

Forty-five minutes or an hour!? What is this, some third-world country? How could they make me wait that long for crab fries and cheese dipping sauce? I felt like grabbing her book and slamming it against her fat face. But then I wouldn't get any crab fries or cheese dipping sauce, and I'd be even more upset.

I went back to my girlfriend, who was with Jimmy and Chelsea. I told them the dilemma, and Jimmy said there were other places to eat. I would've whined about not getting any crab fries or cheese dipping sauce, but as I mentioned, I was starving. I could've eaten the fat hostess's book as long as I had some cheese dipping sauce on the side.

The next restaurant we saw was some fancy-shmancy-looking place with a fire place and wine bottles. More than half the place was empty. I had some trepidation about eating there because fancy-shmancy food is the worst. Like, you can go to Five Guys and get a bacon cheeseburger and fries for $10 and be extremely satisfied, yet you'd spend $75 at a fancy-shmancy restaurant on something called fu-fu a la tu-tu, and you'd walk out hungry, wishing you had just devoured a bacon cheeseburger and fries.

My girlfriend suggested to at least look at the menu, so I went inside and asked for a menu. The blonde hostess, who had the longest legs I've ever seen, handed me a menu, and I brought it back outside for everyone to peruse. I looked at it myself, and of course I didn't recognize any of the food items.

"What the hell is all of this garbage?" I complained. "I don't know what any of this is!

My girlfriend pointed to the chicken parm, which I somehow missed. "You'd like that ... except that it's $23!"

Wow. I had to stare at it to fully comprehend what I was seeing. This restaurant was charging $23 for chicken parm - and save for the appetizers, that was the cheapest thing on the menu!

"We're not eating here," my girlfriend decided. I agreed. I stormed back inside and aggressively handed the menu back to the leggy hostess. I thought about making a remark about how overpriced their crap food was, but I'm sure they make plenty of money from pretentious douche bags who pretend they like fu-fu a la tu-tu.

We reached the food court next. I could've eaten anything on the menu, but it didn't look appealing to the others, as the portions looked small. We all got drinks at the bar, and that in itself was frustrating. There was no line this time, but a bottle of beer cost $8! You can buy a 24-bottle case for $30, yet you'd spend more than that on five bottles at Parx Casino!

I complained about the price of the chicken parm some more, and Jimmy commented that he was able to get a hot dog, a cheeseburger, fries and a couple of beers at some place near the Art Museum earlier that day for $20. Again, it amazes me how tasty food can be so cheap, yet you have to take out a second mortgage on your house just to afford the appetizers at a fancy-shmancy restaurant.

Having said that, we were still stuck with the dilemma: What were we going to do for dinner?

"Maybe we can try Chickie's & Pete's again," my girlfriend suggested. "Maybe their wait time went down."

It didn't. The fat hostess still told us that we had to wait at least 45 minutes. I did what I should've done in the first place - put our names down just in case. My girlfriend and Chelsea decided that they both wanted to play slots in the meantime. They did so, and of course, they both lost, since no one ever wins at slots in the long run.

Here's how indifferent I am to slots: My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to take some turns pulling the lever, or whatever she was doing. My answer: "No. We'd both we doing the same thing, since there's absolutely no skill involved." She gave me a dirty look, but it was the truth.

After about 15-20 minutes, we got bored and decided to leave.

Girlfriend: There's an Outback Steakhouse on the way back home; we can just go eat there.

Me: OK, that's fine. I'll just check Chickie's & Pete's before we leave since it's on the way out.

I approached the fat hostess for the third time and asked her for a status update.

"You're actually next on the list, so you'll be up in a couple of minutes!" she said excitedly.

I wanted to smack her in the face with her book again, since she lied to me about the wait time and put me through an incredible amount of grief. However, I was just too overjoyed at the prospect of devouring crab fries with cheese dipping sauce in the near future.






We were seated, and the waiter, a douchey-looking dude in his 20s, asked us what we wanted for drinks. I made sure to ask him for the crab fries and cheese dipping sauce as well.

I waited patiently for him to bring out the crab fries. I waited... and waited... and waited... It seemed like hours, but our waiter was nowhere to be seen.

I had to take a piss, and I figured that going to the bathroom would make the time pass by, so I went. To my chagrin, there was a bathroom attendant standing by the sink. I absolutely hate bathroom attendants. You feel bad if you don't tip them $1, but in doing so, you're touching money after you've washed your hands, which defeats the purposes of washing your hands in the first place.

Nevertheless, I tipped the guy and then went back to the table. The food had arrived, so I plopped down and began stuffing my face with crab fries and cheese dipping sauce.

Girlfriend: Do you want an onion ring? I ordered some too.

Me: NOM NOM NOM CRAB FRIES AND CHEESE DIPPING SAUCE NOM NOM NOM!!!

The waiter came back with our entrees after another hour of waiting. I ordered a chicken parm sandwich - it was $15 cheaper than the chicken parm at that fancy-shmancy place - and while it looked great on the menu, I was highly disappointed when it was placed in front of me. Take a look at it:



Look how small that thing is (that's what she said)! It's so tiny that Matt Millen could get one of his young stallions to fit that entire thing into his anus.

I was not pleased. Yes, I had my crab fries and cheese dipping sauce - as you can see at the top of that image - but the chicken parm sandwich was way too small. It was good, but it just wasn't filling.

I left Chickie's & Pete's pretty hungry and unsatisfied. The silver lining was that I paid little money for good food rather than selling my kidneys just to eat fu-fu a la tu-tu.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 21


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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